Saturday, June 20, 2009

If this, then that

I don't, won't, and refuse to play that game. Uncharacteristic of me, I tend to think ~ if this, then that sometimes. How do you tell the people you love so much that it's not their fault? And most importantly, how do you make them believe it? I am struggling deeply with this right now.

My Mom and Gary are two of Aviana's favorite people in the entire world. I can't slice it any other way. When I say, "Aviana, would you rather stay with Mommy, or go with Nana and Papa?" She says, "Go, Nana and Papa." She then flies out the door. It's all "good times" with them. All three cherish, and enjoy every moment together.

My mom could not stop repeating could've, should've, would've the entire first day. She continuously would say she took our baby from us. In the last two days, she's absolutely distraught, but has stopped making those statements. Is it simply because I keep telling her it's not their fault, and that it could happen to anyone, or is it because she is suppressing those feelings and now not sharing them with me??

I can't say it any clearer, it's not their fault and it could happen to anyone! Many things happen, or could have happened in our lives that didn't, and for that we are lucky. We always remember those moments, but sometimes sweep them under the rug to ourselves, and people we know. Sometimes, we are not so lucky! For anyone out there who thinks it could never happen to them, I challenge you to think again. Accidents of all kind happen every minute of everyday, and hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20.

I love you Mom and Gary!

1 comment:

  1. Jen and Dave, you guys are amazing! Of course it could happen to anyone at any time. Your mom and Gary will need time to realize that. Through the grace of God, you WILL get through this...ALL of you will.

    You slept all that time because you have exhausted yourselves. I know I don't need to tell you that you guys need your rest and you need to be strong for Avi! I hope you can get back on a regular schedule soon.

    To Brenda and more blaming yourselves...time to focus on healing thoughts for you(Gary) and Avi. We love you guys...we're here for you, too!

    Janet and Jeff