Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Light, to counteract the heavy...

My favorite part of crackers, chips, croutons, anything, is the crumbs at the end of the bag.

I walk into a room, and forget what I came in for, at least, four times a day! It leaves me wondering if it is the same four things, or four different things?

I think the only time we can truly learn from each other is if we open ourselves up, and be honest.

If it's between 10-11, I will choose to eat lunch, and skip breakfast.

Often times, I put things in a really safe place, only to never find them again.

When someone asks how someone is doing, I think they should really mean their question, and respond appropriately, or don't ask at all.

When company is coming, and it's down to the wire, I tend to shove things in cabinets to get it out of the way. If you are a guest, whatever you do, don't open a cabinet, or closet. It could cause bodily harm, and often times does at a later date. Usually to Dave ;o(

I am obsessed with reading other peoples random idiosyncrasies. They have a way of sucking me in like no other.

Since the accident, my inbox often times looks like I am ~kind of~ irresponsible. I am sorry to anyone I don't get back to in a timely manner. It truly does affect me deeply.

I have always had a hard time spelling restaurant, see spelled it wrong again, thank you spell check! The problem was, I spent from the time I was 12, all the way through college working at various restaurants (see, did it again). I always had to be really careful on all applications ;o) You know, I really should just take five minutes, sit my butt down, pay attention, and try to learn to spell that darn word!

My nurse speaks softly, and I am kind of deaf, so I spend much of my days with her saying, "What?"

I will stack every last piece of anything, on all extremities of my body, including in my mouth, in order to make one trip. Dave looks at my crazed, balancing act, as I wobble down the hall, and says, "You can make two trips." I refuse, but often times wonder if I would be more efficient making two trips, than the time, and energy it takes to make one of mine.

Through our various problems, struggles, and difficulties, we are all one.

I often forget if I have seen a movie, and will watch it again, often times, without realizing I have seen it before. My brother is intrigued by the fact that it is all new to me again!

What hurts the most is when people ignore Aviana, or treat her like she is a piece of furniture, but I completely understand why they do it!

Many times, your comments make me cry.

Random blog spacing, that I cannot fix, drives me crazy!!! I say to myself, let it go. Just let it go. You can do it. It's no big deal.

Four is my very favorite number. 

After use, the sink faucet must always return to the middle position, or I cannot go on with my day. If anyone else uses it, I will slyly sneak over, gently move it, and stealthily move away, or act as though I need to wash my hands, or clean the sink again.

I obsessively clean my kitchen sink, with the exception of the food trap, that makes me feel sick, and wash my windshield. I go through an obscene amount of windshield wiper fluid in a years time.

I feel uncomfortable when someone tells me I am strong.

I worry that drinking out of a straw will cause premature wrinkles, but I don't worry about any other wrinkles, besides my neck.

I take scalding hot showers, and prefer water pressure that blows you to the opposite side of the shower. Dave is a constant cross between intrigued, and humored, by the fact that I look like a lobster after exiting the shower.

I find vulnerability the most endearing quality ever.

I wash my hair about every three days, and often times wear the same jeans many times over, unless they get really dirty. Does that make me disgusting? I choose to think, not!

The term lol makes my skin crawl, and that is why I use so many smiley faces.

Those of you who take the time to read our story, mean more to me than you will ever know.

Like in the movie, "Sleeping with the Enemy," all of my labels have to be facing forward. Don't you wish you lived here? Don't you feel sorry for the others in my house?

I have been severely unmotivated lately, and have no lunch to feed Aviana today, so I am going to microwave her some Macaroni and Cheese, and call it a day.

Often times I look at Aviana, and wonder who is really brain damaged after all. Deep down, I know the answer to be me :o)

I think how you treat animals speaks volumes.

Both my mom, and my dad are two of the funniest people on earth, and for completely different reasons. I suppose that is also what I love most about Dave, too ;o)

I have a really hard time going to children's birthday parties, and after many failed occurrences, have decided it's best to honor my heart, rather than trying to "be there" as I have in the past.

Dave asked me the other day if I realize I have an 'ugly cry' I laughed, and said absolutely, that is why I try to cover my whole face when I am really, really crying!

If a family member has wronged you, at one of your lowest points in your entire life, and in a way that a complete stranger could never even come close to doing, sadly, I do believe there is a point of no return! 

I love the comma, even if I don't use it perfectly. I equally love ... also known as, dot, dot, dot, which I don't even quite understand, but it makes sense to me.

I think the show Oprah asked me to write for aired a couple days ago....I guess they didn't choose me ;o)

I am obsessive with grammar, but have seriously slipped since the accident. My best friend, Jen is helping me out until I someday recover. I affectionately call her my 'editor at large,' even though she is tiny. After publishing a post, I may, or may not, later get an e-mail with the subject line, "Blog Correction." I thank her profusely!!! Sometimes, my errors cause me so much embarrassment, that I am afraid to show my face again in these parts.

I wish I could be a better overall family member, and friend. I, often times, struggle because I am so immersed mentally, emotionally, and physically in everything 'Aviana.' It feels selfish!

I wish I was a better blog commenter! There is so much I want to say, but not enough time.

Sometimes I sit at my desk, and wonder why it is, that I am so overwhelmed.

I am not living in the city I want to live in, and it is a daily struggle, but I try very hard not to be negative about it. After Aviana's accident, it became more suffocating, because I quickly realized it could all end today, and this is not where I want to be. 

If I had one lesson for kids coming out of college, it would be, to be careful where you lay your roots.

I have been masking Aviana every 4 minutes while I write this random list of irrelevant stuff. 

Okay, I feel better.

I love random stuff. These are the things that make me, me. What makes you, you? Please share, if you are still there ; )

Okay, I just went back and counted the heck did my plan for, no more, than 15 arrive at 42???

I know. It's like a food comatose, but in blog post form. You feel you must step away, clear your brain, maybe take a nap....


  1. Love this! and was masking Fi every 5 while reading!! :D xoxo

  2. oh, but crumbs?? eww!

  3. Wow...we are a like in so many ways. I also enjoy scalding hot showers, can't remember if I've seen movies, hate "LOL", obsess about grammar (even though I slip ALL the time)forget why I entered a room, use "..." ALLLL the time, and will wear the same jeans all weekend if they don't get dirty! Plus, now I will stop using straws and worry that I've already done irreversable damage to my face. Thanks for that! J/K....LOL! ;)

  4. 42??? Seriously??? It seemed like 10! I LOVED the list and feel like I know you a little bit better now :)

  5. This was a very fun post, Jen! While reading through it, I realized many items I have in common! Thanks for the wonderful post, I was hooked from the first line.

  6. I am so happy to know that when I come over you may have things stuffed in a closet. Makes me feel like less of a house keeping failure! I loved every bit of this post. on a different note I invited you to Lily's 4th birthday knowing it would be extremely hard but I also knew I did not want to leave Avi out. I am honored that you came it meant a lot to us to get to include Avi. Oh and I should mention that I don't usually ask how you are not because I don't care but I usually feel like I know how your doing :0) I will have to do one of these posts when I have more time. It was very fun to read. See ya tomorrow;0)

  7. First of all you are fabulous. Second of all, in addition to the middle name thing we apparently have scads of other things in common.

    Your Dirty Haired, Shower Lobster, Movie Amnesiac, Sink Cleaning Sister

    PS I once saw a FB post that said "Every time someone writes 'LOL' a unicorn dies."

  8. I haven't even gotten through the whole thing but I had to tell you that whenever I turn the cans in the pantry I think of that movie!

  9. I'm a bit crazy too! I cannot type at all, I have typo's all over the place, and though I can't stand to go back and read what I have read because its typed so poorly I hate typing so it stays that way. Love the comma because then I can have huge run on sentences. My absolute favoirte number is 4. I have safe places to put things too, or at least I"m hoping thye are safe since I dont' remember where they are. My radio volume must only be turned to even numbers, there's alot of other stuff like that i do that makes me crazy, but I can't help it.
    My SIL once, or I'm sure quite a few times has piled dirty dishes etc in the bathub and closed the curtain to be ready for a family get together.
    I"ve had a family member wrong me as well at my lowest time, not as low as yours but low for me (I will hope the lowest), so right you can never go back.

  10. That was fun! I wonder if it's the little unspoken things that connect people dots, and wanting the faucet turned to the middle, and the spelling of restaurant, liking hot showers, and other random little things.

    I have two sleeping newborns on my bed, it's 8:00am, and here I usual!


  11. I wear my jeans a few days in a row without washing them, too. What I do each day before I put them on: I hold them up, look from front to back. No stains? No dirt? Okay, they passed the first test. Then, I hold them to my nose and sniff. Don't stink? Okay, they are good to wear another day.

    Everyone knows that jeans don't get really good until the 2nd or 3rd day of wear, right? Or am I the only one (besides **Tex McCormick) that knows this?

    I have an 'ugly cry', too. I've never felt comfortable crying, as a matter of fact. Not that one can feel at their best when they are sobbing, of course. But for me, I sort of choke out my sobs and my face gets all scrunched up, and I know I look hideous.

    Why is 4 your favorite number? is that the date you were born on? My favorite number has always been 14 because that's my birthdate, so I was just wondering if that was your reason, too.

    Loved your list - I feel I know you just a tad bit better :)

    Oh...and I'm a big fan of the dot, dot, dot....for some reason, they are my most favorite punctuation...if they can even be called punctuation...can they?

    **one of my favorite books is TEX by S.E. Hinton. There's a line in there somewhere when Tex's older brother Mason tells him to change his jeans, and Tex says, "Why? They're just get'n good." (or something like that). I haven't read that book in years, but that scene always plays out in my head whenever I sniff my jeans in the morning.

  12. I always spell Brian Brain. And I even dated two Brian's (not at the same time) and I still couldn't get it right. :0)

  13. Great!! Loved it!! A few days ago, I said something and a friend said "that is so Allie of Allie" and I really thought about that. :)

  14. Wow...
    we have even more in common than I thought!

    I forget what it is I am looking for all the time!

    My favorite number is 11.

    I cannot go to bed without first using the bathroom. If I get delayed for any reason (even 10 minutes) I must go to the bathroom again before I get under the covers.

    When doing a load of my clothes I have to take them out as soon as the dryer buzzes so that they don't wrinkle. But when it's my husband's laundry it doesn't bother me and I'm like oh, they'll be fine.

    I usually type the word "because" wrong.

    I too had a close family member - ok, I'll say it, it was my mom - slit my throat with her words at an already very fragile and low point in my life. She has since apologized twice and I said that I forgave her but it still hurts when I think about it.

    I must rinse off the top of a soda can with cold water before I pop it open. Because in the back of my mind I feel like what if there is something microscopic on the tab part & then when I open it, it will bend down and my drink will be sloshing around touching it.

    My favorite color is green.

    I have zero tolerance for electrical devices that don't work as they should. That brings out the rage in me like nothing else.

  15. Just posted my comment but I must not have put my name where it said name. Anyway, this is Channe.

  16. The comment about your closets and cabinets had me cracking up. The few times I've been to your house, it's been spotless. Makes me wonder about the cabinets. :)

  17. I love "getting to know you" alittle bit more. Thank you for your blog, I read it daily. Love, Beya

  18. Great Blog. My number is 76. :)

  19. Many of my blog posts are centered around the same random theme. So much, in fact, that I have a whole "for the love of lists' series. It's cathartic, right?

  20. I luv reading your blog. Ive followed for quite some time.
    You remind me of a little me.Just for the record Im 56.
    Your blog was the first link I put in my "favorites" on my new computer :o)
    I use "----" alot & :o)
    I have to pour my dish D into a smaller bottle,I have to keep my kitchen garbage can under the sink,all of my other garbage cans have lids,I hate looking at trash yet my house is a wreck :o)
    I Love your blog,reading it sometimes,I cry ,sometimes I LOL, ;)