Thursday, May 5, 2011

Pity Party




and sleep,


What I am trying to say is,



and night,



You might remember, I had a mini meltdown, and in my eyes, the only thing to do when you melt is run as fast as possible to Mexico. Upon returning from Cabo, we needed to devise a new and improved game plan. We were running therapy seven days a week since December of 2009.

We decided to change things a little. We now complete about a quarter therapy on Saturdays, and about half on Sundays.

It is now May, shouldn't this feel like a relief??

Things have no choice, but to change. I feel like I am going to break. More than that, I feel like Aviana is splitting. While Dave is at work, and while I am out running errands on the days Lesya is here, Aviana is a 4 year old machine.

Everything about this program is monotonous, robotic, sterile, and completely uneventful.  We need it though, but more than that, we need to find ourselves a freakin' life.

We desperately need balance. I have been feeling this way forever, but actually achieving balance, without feeling you are failing your girl is much harder than it could ever seem.

We just booked our 4th trip back to PA. If anyone is counting, this is our fourth in less than 18 months. I am exhausted to say the least, but I know it will do us a world of good.

I am beyond run down, and tired to boot. I am now really sick, and am obviously feeling sorry for myself.

Hopefully tomorrow I can pick my sorry butt up off the floor, and press on...


  1. It is important that you and Dave get the breaks that you so desperately need. I wish that I could take this all away...make it all better. I love you guys. *hugs*

  2. Wow. :( I hope you get better and get a real break soon. You are an amazing, dedicated mom. and Happy Mother's Day! <3

  3. I still think, I know that therapy has to be done, but I think YOU ALL need to have a regular scheduled break, you all are worn out and sick of it. I knwo to rewire and help Avi brain she has to do the therapy but I"m sure she could use a little break and fun too. YOu all have to stay sane, so I think you better get a prescription written for twice a month mini trips or fun days or at least something thats fun for everyone.

  4. Listen to Lea and Maya''s advice.
    We all need breaks. And maybe so does Avi:)

  5. I agree. You need to find balance that is right for you. It doesn't do anyone any good if you are living life rundown and overwhelmed. You are not failing her by taking more breaks, slowing down or by even stopping one day. She will continue to make improvements by experiencing real life too.
    I think you are right~balance is the key to a happy life for everyone.

  6. Um, I will be a guest or presenter at your pity party! I will even be your event coordinator if needed:)I hope you continue to seek balance, as you all deserve it! As for your post a few days ago with the quote....I had that on my fridge after I had my second baby, and she wasn't as perfect as I expected, since my first was so hard. Love that quote, so perfect for a type-A person. Feel better friend! I hope to see you more when my day job changes over the summer!

  7. I'm writing this because I care about you guys, not because I'm trying to tell you what to do, because I'm not. When I was taking college courses and later working with teachers of children with severe disabilities,one of the goals was to find way to fuse the therapy activities in daily life activities so they were more meaningful and more fun. Maybe there's a way to modify your schedule so that it's more fun for all of you. Give yourself permission to have fun! We all need that in our lives!