Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Baby Girl

When we began the adoption process, I really wanted a baby. I thought I would bond better with a baby. After Aviana was born, we waited 11 long months to finally travel to Guatemala, and bring her home.  From the moment we met her,  she was on the move.

For the entire two years we had her, I could barely hold her. I remember when she first came home, I would try to sit her on my lap, and get to know her. She would bite me. I felt sad as she took off, and all I was left with were tiny teeth marks!!

For the entire first year, I remember saying....

I wish I could hold her.

I wish she would stay still so I could love her.

I wish she were younger when we finally got her.

I wish she wasn't quite so independent.

I have no idea if that would have helped any, but in my very own mind it made perfect sense.

I remember talking to the doctors after the accident. They told us Aviana would be just like an infant. They told us we would have to care for her every need.  They told us it would be like starting all over, and that we would have to teach her everything over again. I remember feeling so sad. Sad that our fiercely independent girl would be fully dependent. I wondered how that would make her feel.

Because we could never sleep at the time, we would stay up until 5-6 am installing our hardwood floors. I remember the exact room, and hardwood plank where Dave looked up at me and said, "You will now have the baby you always wanted. Be careful what you wish for."

I try hard to always look at every single positive aspect of this situation. In doing so, we have found that having a baby is the most wonderful experience. We love holding her, and loving on her. We love caring for her. We love being there for her every need.

I was really worried about how she would react, and so far, I think she really enjoys it too :o)

To be continued....


  1. I'm pretty sure this isn't what you wished for.

  2. It is such a blessing that you enjoy taking care of her like that. Can you imagine not having that in you? That feeling is something to be thankful for.