Friday, October 22, 2010


My world of shopping has had its fair share of ebbs and flows.

Take Target for example.

When I was younger, Target, in its entirety, was my playground. Not one sad, or bad thought ever clouded my mind. The entire store was an endless possibility for the present moment, as well as the future.

I passed the various sections with ease.

Home ~ I can't wait to purchase my 'real' home and decorate.

Animal ~ My dream was to get a dog almost as soon as a house. I couldn't wait for her to be my very own. I would spoil her with anything and everything.

Baby ~ I sure wasn't anywhere close to wanting a baby for a long time, but still I couldn't wait to purchase diapers, shampoo, teething rings, and such.

Toys ~ Christmas was huge in our house growing up, and I don't think I ever once walked by the toy section without reflecting on those memories. I wanted to recreate my childhood.

Things started off great....

Shopping for our new home.

Shopping for my cat Zoe, and then for Kama.

Then, life had its way with me.


With every pass, the baby section just about killed me.

Once the baby section was resolved,

All seemed just about right in the world of Target.

Then, the accident,

Target was all wrong again.

The baby section.

The toy section.

Zoe died of cancer, and half the animal section became a sad state of affairs.

Now, Kama has cancer, and doesn't have much longer.  The dog section sucker punched me.  This particular section has become extraordinarily tumultuous.

What's next, the tupperware section??

As you may be able to tell, I was recently at Target, and couldn't help but notice how much the store has narrowed for me.

I have just about no use for so many sections.

Target is no longer my playground.

It is more of a land mine.

Our mall was taken over by a possible armed and dangerous, troubled person yesterday. He started my other distraction on fire.  While we were so sad for all involved, Dave thought it was a good thing for us....especially me!

I am officially out of business.

I suppose I will start crafting again.


  1. TARGET can be that's a fickle 'friend' i have learned over the years

    so scary about your dangerous & troubled person......

    i'm confused....why are you officially out of business?

  2. You may not realize this, but since I live so close, and my "playgrounds" are the same, not only do I feel for you, but I am laughing at you! Thank goodness our local Target has at least changed their layout, so you can create a new "route" through the store. As for the Galleria...what do you say we head for the outlet mall in Folsom??? :)

  3. oH Jen I'm just getting caught up on your last posts. I am so so sorry. I do understand how you can be grateful for what you have but depressed because well lets face you have no control over your life, nobody does but it sucks when it seems like everything is falling apart. I had a year where I lost so much with in just a few months time, I ended up anorexic, totally not a typical me, but I found it was something "I" could control. again not good but at the time its just what happend although I was alot younger then we are now, so I didn't have alot of coping mechinisms.
    My beloved Gretsky I lost at 8 as well, it was an awful choice.

  4. Jennifer, as we get older and/or increasingly infirmed our world narrows. When we are healthy the world, as Rella would say, is our oyster. We think in terms of continents. When we start suffering some health problems our world may narrow to our city and neighborhood. As our health deteriorates even more our world may narrow to our home. When we are completely debilitated or under Hospice care our world may narrow to one room...usually our bedroom. Jennifer, you are too young and too interesting a person to think about "narrowing." Mourn your losses and then focus on how many more options you have in your life. Options sometimes find you; more often you have to find your options. We are all confident that your world will open up before too long. Keep the faith that good things are coming. In the meantime remember how much you have improved as a person because of the negative times. Love you!

  5. okay...okay...I will allow this demeaning of my "Target" given the context of your life.

    Can I give you some other thoughts? i know .. i'm being kinda snotty but i hope to encourage..not rub snot on your shoulder with these words..K?

    The picture frame section: you have a gorgeous girl to frame pictures of still. THANK GOD.

    The little girl clothing section: Aviana is as beautiful as ever...she rox a great outfit with the best of any Guat girl ever!

    The stroller section (my FAVORITE section...I'm a stroller-snob) - You will always have a way to take Aviana ANYWHERE with you!

    The bike section: those bike trailers "Target" sells ensures a great experience for your little girl for a very long time.

    The (boring) grocery section: Aviana is eating FOOD! And NOT through a tube! ROCK IT !

    The hair section: Aviana's hair has grown back in so many options now!

    Okay...I'll stop being the annoying Glee Club member ... and you know you pain and angst is never underestimated by me.

    I think about and pray for you everyday .... YOU are friggin' crazy strong.


  6. If it's any consolation, Nordstrom's had surprisingly little damage and should be open soon.

    I think crafting might be a good thing. It really is cathartic. Maybe you can squeeze in a little time to hide out and work on your photos or scrap books.

  7. Speaking of bows...I should show you how to make them for Avi. Then again, Dave may eventually regret that. :)