Thursday, October 28, 2010

Kiss Goodbye

With our upcoming trip to Pennsylvania, Dave and I had agreed I would stay home, and care for Kama, and he, and my family would handle the trip themselves. I knew we were nearing the end, and I could not stand to think of Kama being cared for by anyone, but me.

I wanted to spend every moment with her. I wanted to be the first she saw in the morning, and the last she saw when she closed her eyes. I wanted to make any, and all decisions for her. I was the only one who truly knew the signs, and symptoms to look for. No one on this earth knew her better than I. Most importantly, she had been with me through every difficult situation I had faced, and I wanted to be there for her....until her last breath.

Deep in my heart of hearts, I knew she wasn't going to make it until then.  After she came home from her latest trip from the vet, she seemed good, but still would not have a bite to eat.

She stayed with me every moment I was sick. We spent hours upon hours smashed together. I know her like the back of my hand, every breath, every movement, everything. I started to notice that once again, things were going south in the middle of the night. She became restless. I was basically up all night doing my best to make sure she found comfort. The most relief she found was wedged tightly between Dave and I.

She still refused to eat in the morning. I began to notice her back leg slowly shaking. I knew this was it. I called Dave and told him it was time. He said when he saw my number come up, he knew.

We got her in as soon as possible. We made sure everything was perfect. We did not want her to ever see the interior of a vet office again.

We laid her blanket out on a beautiful grassy area. Pillows were always her favorite, so we brought one of her many. She quickly rested her head upon it. Dave and I circled our bodies closly around her.

As she peacefully went to sleep, we loved on her, and whispered the sweetest words.

After she had gone, we spent a little more time with her.

We then said our final goodbye.


  1. I'm so, so sorry... tears and prayers for all of you!! :(

  2. I don't know if I commented before, but I often check in and think positive thoughts for Aviana. I just wanted to say I'm truly sorry about Kama. I have two fur-babies of my own (labs as well, one yellow, one chocolate) and I fully understand how hard it is to lose something that loves you so unconditionally. Try to take comfort in the fact that she was so well loved by you (it's obvious!), and that you made the right decision to put her at peace.... thinking of you.

  3. so so sorry for your loss of Kama. I have tears of sorrow, I know the pain I have felt it and it is awful. I have had animals that have been thru so much with me but I know you have been through so much worse. So glad you could both be there with her, again there are really no words I'm just so so sorry.

  4. That sounds like a beautiful ending to a beautiful life. So glad that you were able to spend that kind of time with her. Sending more hugs!

  5. You are beautiful people.


  6. you did the right thing.

    she has been there for you through it all and you were there for her until the end.

    'though you no longer see her physically upon this earth, the bond that you forged will forever be imbedded on your heart

    kama will never desert you.
    forever in your heart.

  7. I am so sorry for your loss of Kama. Many prayers go out to you during this very difficult time. Just know that you gave Kama the last great gift, and that was to go peacefully and to end her pain. You will always have your memories, and pictures and that is what will allow you to gradually stop hurting so bad. The first few months are the hardest after losing a pet. Allow yourself to cry whenever you need to. May Kama always remain in your heart and she will always be watching you from heaven.


  8. Sobbing as I write this. What a beautiful way for Kama to continue on her journey… and what a precious memory for you and Dave. I hope you truly know that you are very special people. Hugs to you as you try to figure out how life will go on now…


  9. she was so lucky to have you. sending love to you and your family. hope avi isn't feeling too much sadness too...

  10. Oh...this is so beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. I am praying for you as you walk through this time of grief.
    Big Hugs,

  11. I'm so sorry for your loss of Kama!! May all your happy memories help ease your pain. Sending lots of hugs your way.

  12. HUGE FAT TEARS streaming down my face. I'm so sorry Jen for your loss of your dear companion. HUGE hug.

  13. Jen, Dave and Aviana,
    We are so sorry for the loss of Kama. Loss of a loved one human or animal is always so difficult to endure. Please know our prayers and thoughts are always with you and your family.

    Love Always,
    Becci and Angela