Thursday, March 31, 2011


What is the story behind the accident? Was it a young person, older person that hit them. Were they not paying attention? How was their reaction? What were the consequences?

My parents were walking across a five lane street, and my stepfather was holding Aviana. When they looked, no one was coming, so they proceeded. They were in the last lane when they were struck. Neither my mom, nor Gary, ever saw the car coming.

The woman who hit them was about 65. She hit my stepfather, and sadly, when she got out of the car, others had to tell her what she had hit, as she did not know. She was obviously in shock, and completely devastated.

We all feel it was the perfect storm.  I cannot imagine being any of the four involved in this accident. I feel deeply for each of them. I have stood strong all along that this was an accident, and honestly could have happened to any of us.

In any situation like ours, I feel my blood rise when I hear someone say that it wouldn't have ever happened to them. Maybe, or maybe not in the exact sequence of events, but something like this can happen to anyone. I can think of at least a dozen times in my very own life that something devastating could have happened, but didn't. 

At the time of the accident, there was not one other couple I trusted more than my parents. They loved her more than anyone in the world, and would have both given their lives instead for her.

As I watch my parents navigate through this difficult journey, I feel deeply for the woman who hit them. I often wonder if she wants to contact me, or if she is okay surrounded in her own family. I had started a letter to her quite a while ago, and have yet to finish it for two reasons: I have been insanely busy since this accident occurred, and struggle to formulate the right words. Much more than that though, I am unsure that she wants contact, as she has never sought us out. In writing this, I have decided to complete the letter, and leave the door opened should she choose to walk through.

In regard to consequences, no criminal charges were filed, as this was an accident. There weren't any substances, cell phones, etcetera, involved. There was a lawsuit, which was settled a number of months after the accident.

Linda ~ Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them ;o)


Have you heard from Oprah?

I have not heard from Oprah, but I do have an interesting story surrounding the e-mail. As you know, we have had a pretty rough 18 months. Losing Kama was the last straw for me, and things were extraordinarily difficult thereafter.

Towards the end of January, I had reached an all time low. That is when we decided on a trip to Cabo. Once back, I still struggled because we were at a crossroads with Aviana's program.

The day before the Harpo e-mail arrived, I had experienced one of the worst days ever. Down, and out best describes my state of mind at the time. I had allowed family drama to completely push me over the edge.

I surprisingly found magic in responding to their specific questions. In doing so, I was forced to reflect, and dig deep from within to answer the questions. The entire process was therapeutic. I quickly realized how far we had come, and was reminded of who I looked to for my strength. In writing the letter, it was apparent.... I had lost my focus.

Once the letter was complete, I had comfort in knowing if nothing came of the show, I had already gained everything I needed. I love when life unfolds before your very eyes. It was truly amazing ;o)

I haven't really looked back since, but of course, I would still LOVE to meet both of these inspiring, eye opening, women!!


lisapooh98 ;o) I am working on your answer. I have it all planned out, and am going to pull from some old pictures, and add some new videos ;o))))


  1. "That would never happen to me" .

    I never thought I'd be practically struck by a semi-truck as myself and my four closest friends were walking down a sidewalk in Chicago .... almost killing all of us....dealing with injuries and Post Traumtic Stress Disorder as a result...

    I DID see the truck coming....I jumped. Was buried under rubble.

    I NEVER EVER subscribe to the "it'll never happen to me" philosophy.

    The accident taught me not to take things for granted. One second my life was woven together, the next INSTANT my life was tattered, torn, and has taken plenty of weaving to look like it used too....though it never will.

    Luv ya Jen...Thanks for the info .... I will pray for the lady .....


    PS An 18 yr old right next to me was killed by the truck. I have always wanted to contact her parents as I was the last one to ever see her alive. She was smiling. She was on the phone. I guess I will write 'that' letter after their lawsuit is over. sigh I understand your need to reach out. I want her parents to know details....for their sake.

  2. I'm guessing the woman's attorney told her not to contact you. I imagine she lives in the horror and shame of what happened that day and must feel responsible and doesn't know the right words because "I'm sorry" doesn't seem like enough. Or, maybe I'm just thinking that's how I'd feel.

    Since we're asking nosey questions, did you ever have contact with Aviana's foster family? My 15 month old (who I've had since birth) is meeting her forever family today.

    And there are no words for the naive people who think bad things will never happen to them...they just haven't lived long enough.


  3. It's been over 14 years, and we never heard from the lady who hit us and caused our daughter's brain injury. I think about her every now and then...wondering if she was ever told the extent of our daughter's injuries (as only her attorney had contact with us at the time) or how this accident has altered our daughter's life, how she can no longer see correctly, walk correctly, learn correctly, or use her right arm. I wonder if her attorney painted a pretty picture, instead, saying at the time that her prognosis is good. The lady who hit us had a horrible driving record. Accidents almost every other year...caused by her. I will admit that I have resentment. Yes, I know that's not a good way to live...but I can't help it. Someone like that should not be allowed to drive. Period. The lady who hit us had two daughters around the ages of 12 and 14 at the time of the accident. In the accident, no one in her car was hurt. She went on to probably see her daughter's graduate from high school, perhaps one of them is married by now, has children, attended college. But my daughter? Those things that should have been hers might not ever come to be...due to her brain injury. I know I sound awful. I know I sound bitter. Perhaps I am, just a bit. But that's what happens when your child is hurt by another person's actions. I would rather the injuries have happened to ME than to her. I think I could forgive in my heart if my life was altered...but my child's? It's so, so hard....very painful. It's a cloud that hangs over your days. I might have a very happy life - and I really, really do! I have so much to be thankful for. But that cloud...that cloud is always there, reminding me that there is something that keeps me from being 100% content in my life. And that something is that my daughter is now disabled when she has every right not to be. She was born perfectly fine...and someone's careless actions caused her not to be. It's very unfair. I know, I is unfair. I can handle that. I can handle things being unfair to ME. But to my child? I have a harder time finding peace in that.

    I think I might have a little more peace in my heart had the woman contacted us at some point. She lived just 30 miles from our house. She must have read in all the papers that we needed volunteers for our daughter's therapy. (it was in all the local papers) She had our contact information. To NEVER call? To NEVER ask how our daughter is doing? Not even send a card? I don't know about all of you...but I could NEVER just walk away from that. The other day, as I was dropping off on of the carpool kids, I tapped into a parked car that was to the right of me. I misjudged how far away I was, and I hit the car. Very, very lightly. Didn't even cause a scratch to my car. But the other car had a slight had some paint chipped off of it. I had to go door to door to see who that car belonged to. I had to say I was sorry, and offer to fix it. HOW in the world could I ever not even make contact with a family whose child's life was completely altered because of something I caused? I just don't get that....I really don't. No matter what any attorney told me, I would just have to make contact.

    But maybe that's just me.

  4. Wow...some heavy stuff on here these last few days.

    I guess I just wanted to say that I think shame is a powerful feeling that runs so deep that some of us might never understand.

    These stories will permeate my thoughs as I embark on my commute home from work today.

  5. You know, it is just so, so terrible how the accident occurred. I can't imagine being any of the people involved in the event. The misplaced guilt alone that each person must feel on a daily basis is unfathomable. Even though there truly is NO reason to feel the guilt, especially for your family, since it was an accident that could have happened to absolutely ANYONE! But even really realizing that, I am sure that it makes no difference to the people involved. How do you let it go? How do you deal? Your parents are so amazing and strong to keep moving forward with you. You are such an amazing person to have the best attitude possible in this situation. You help your parents more than you know. As for people who would say it wouldn't happen to me, I want to meet them in dark alley.