Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My Lifeline

We had a conference call with The Institute this morning to discuss Aviana's program. During that phone call, our advocate spoke of Aviana's injury, and how it affected all main areas of her brain. We further talked about an injury such as her's, and she noted that Aviana is among the group of children with the worst injuries at The Institute. Aviana falls into the bottom 5% of the kids they treat. Even though I already knew this, it hurt my ears, and my eyes immediately filled with tears. In my opinion, to know it, and to hear it, are two different things.

I have said, time and again, that I am going through the hardest part of my entire life right now. I am currently many shades of fragile.

While in the hospital, we heard the worst any person could ever hear, but the difference was, we were full of hope. I could deflect 'negative' like the best of them.  Now, I hear the worst, and I am not nearly as full. It takes much more out of me.

Fast forward 40 minutes ~

Dave was standing at the counter, eating his cereal, and nonchalantly flipping through a magazine. He was calm, as calm could be. If I didn't know him personally, I would surely have thought he had been dealt an easy breezy life. I, on the other hand, was a perplexed bundle of nerves.

I looked at him, and this is how the conversation proceeded ~

Jen: 
I envy you right now. You can hear the awful words we heard on the phone, and are ready to carry on with your day. I heard those very same words, and they are bouncing around like a ping pong ball, stuck in my skull.

Dave:
Well, we already knew she was in the bottom 5%, we can see it every time we go back to the Institute.

Jen:
I know, but to hear it is different. What was it she said? Was it lowest 5%, or was it bottom 5? What did she say?

Dave: 
She said breakthrough.

Jen:
(Standing ~ speechless and dumbfounded all at the same time, while knowing I have the best husband in the world. One that lifts me, when I am down. One that sees the positive, when all I can see is negative.)

Dave:
After she said 5%, she said we are waiting for her to make a breakthrough. A breakthrough, which she knows Aviana will make. That is what I heard, and that is why I am so calm.

He is my lifeline....

1. 
     a. An anchored line thrown as a support to someone falling or drowning.

     b. A line shot to a ship in distress.

2. 

     a. One that is or is regarded as a sourse of salvation in a crisis.

I've always felt I struck gold when I found Dave. He proves it to me through, and through. I have always felt lucky to have him, but especially today.

9 comments:

  1. oh my gosh...this post gave me chills, when I read Dave's last response. I mean WOW Jen - what a great husband, a great daddy. All I can say is WOW about his attitude. awesome.

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  2. that's awesome - as a fellow 'ping pong ball stuck in my skull' type, it is such a salvation when someone can redirect and calm. praying your breakthrough happens soon... you all deserve it!

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  3. You lucked out finding him. (But I could say the same of him finding you.) :)

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  4. What a great team! He is great. A man that listens on a phone call???? You need to bottle his lifeline and sell it!

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  5. I loved reading this Jen. . .While I have yet to meet this Mr. Wonderful, it's very clear why he's your lifeline.

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  6. I am so happy that you guys have each other. That is what a great relationship is all about. I am so glad that Dave can look at things at a different angle and bring you back down to a safe level. He is an amazing guy for sure. You guys make the best couple. Thank you Dave for keeping Jen as positive as possible!

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  7. Wow - it's really true that you balance each other when you need it the most. Great story.

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  8. I"m so glad he heard it and could tell you AGAIN what he heard. come on Breakthru! I'm with you, I think females in general, we think and thing and think, can't relax all that thinking goign on, and you are right knowing the stats and hearing them told to you actually make them real, which sucks. Hang in there, I know thats a stupid thing to say but what are the other options. Thinking of you.

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  9. Always waiting and praying for that breakthrough and in the meantime you two have each other and the is precious.

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