Wednesday, March 16, 2011

New Normal

The list of horrible things we have had to adapt to since the accident is extensive. I am fascinated by the fact that, with time, a person is somehow able to cope with extremely painful things. I am beyond thankful for this.

A few times a day, I turn to Aviana, and her eyes are glazed over. Then, as if that wasn't quite sad enough, they suddenly begin their accent into the top of her head. Like I said, it amazes me what one can withstand over time. It is a shockingly sad sight to watch your daughter's beautiful brown eyes slowly roll straight up into her head.

Most days, I can deal with it just fine. While clapping my hands, or snapping my fingers I say, "Aviana, come back to me sweetie." Sometimes that does the trick, but other times it doesn't.  We then have to shake her a little, or pick her up in order to bring her back to us.

This occurrence can also be so depressing at times. It can literally rip my heartstrings out.

It would be interesting to jump into the mind of some of the visitors who come to our house. I have my own ideas of what it must be like to witness our 'new normal.'  I am sure it must be pretty difficult to watch.  If I put myself in their shoes, I would feel such a strange blend of happiness....and sadness.

I was terribly sorry to hear about your dad! Please e-mail me, if you want, at 


  1. Oh Jen....I know it's so different but I can relate in many ways....hugs!

  2. I remember when I had to settle into our "new normal" -- it sure took me a long time to get there and truly be happy in it.

    "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell.

    The above quote helped me a lot, and still helps me from time to time whenever I get down about the "should have beens".

    Life can deal us blows, that's for sure. But it's up to us what we do with our situations. You, my friend, are doing an amazing job. You are rising to the occasion, BIG TIME. You are such an inspiration to me. Both you and Dave...such loving parents, so devoted to your little girl. I'm proud to know you, and I hope we can meet in person one day. What is 8 hour drive up the coast for me? Hey, I've driven further :)

  3. Oh Jen. Life can be horrific and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I cannot imagine. I can't. You are so amazing and so strong. I love you.

  4. Yes - I wonder what people think of our "normal" too - mostly I think it's overwhelming!

  5. It makes so sad to hear of her eyes rolling back. Yes, you are right though, it is your normal and it will be okay. It is truly amazing what the human mind and spirit can do to help you adjust to a new reality. It is a gift.

  6. I think that many might think "there but for the grace of God go I." Emma actually did that once when she was around 18 months. She literally cried so hard that she stopped breathing. I somehow managed to recall the first aid training, and slapped the soles of her feet. She took a big gasp and was fine...but I can imagine how it feels.

    When your heart hurts, remember how many of us are here, loving you. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call. (Even if you need a bottle of wine and someone to drink it with.) *hugs*