Sunday, August 2, 2009

Somewhat Inconsolable

Aviana has had a rough past couple of days. She is once again not tolerating her feeds or medication very well. They have started and stopped the feeds quite a few times lately. She is so very sad at times. She cries on and off much more and just seems uncomfortable. It breaks my heart to see her like this.

I have always heard new moms talk about their infants and how at times they do not know what is wrong. They talk of how all they could do was make sure they were changed, fed, didn't have a temperature and comfortable, then beyond that there was nothing much more they could do. They would feel awful as their babies cried. I have never had an infant or experienced anything of the sort. I was able to simply kiss anything which may have hurt and then all was good on the home front again. Shall we say spoiled?? Yes, that I was.

I am now getting my fair share of these feelings and can relate 110%. I feel helpless, like my hands are tied and there is nothing I can do to soothe her or take away the pain. These feelings are some of the worst I have ever felt in my life! We will continue to do all we can and hope these feeding problems are worked out soon. I am sure we have a long road ahead of not being able to easily comfort her. This is just one more adjustment we will get used to and with time, will be better.

7 comments:

  1. Jen,
    I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It seems like she is now able to distinguish that things are not right and is expressing her feelings by crying. So look at it as a step forward. I know nothing that I could say will comfort you or make you feel less helpless. Just hang in there and in time this will be a memory. It will get better!
    Tracy

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  2. Oh Jen, I am feeling for you in this post. The powerlessness is the hardest part, yes, but you are so strong, and so connected to her (as are so many others :)

    Praying, supporting you, and sending very healing energy to precious Aviana.

    hugs, jana

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  3. My heart just breaks for you as a mother. Praying for Aviana and your family.

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  4. I am so sorry. It is so hard to not be able to know what exactly why your child is uncomfortable. Our youngest daughter whom we adopted from Guatemala had colic and it was so severe and on our three visit trips, we hardly got any sleep as we were constantly trying to find something to help her or a position. It did go away at 5 1/2 months of age but it was the hardest thing to see her in such discomfort and we couldn't "kiss" it better.
    Blessings and hugs, Rhonda

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  5. Jen praying that this week brings a solution to avis feeding problems and some comfort to all of you. Big hugs Sarah

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  6. praying for your family's and Aviana's strength, perseverence, hope, and peace.

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  7. God Bless you all. Avi has been through so much in such a short time..and so has her family..It is the worst feeling in the world not being able to comfort your own child and make things better. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I pray that she can overcome this feeding issue soon and find comfort..I continue to pray daily for your baby girl

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