Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Short Story For You

A highly emotional girl wakes up and shortly after speaks to her father, Highly Emotional Girl loses it and cries her eyes out at the thought of her daughter's impending 3rd birthday and reflects on the day her and her sweet husband had to return all Mickey Mouse decorations.

Highly Emotional Girl carries on with her day and on the way to the hospital, calls to wish her sister-in-law a happy birthday. Highly Emotional Girl cries her eyes out again in the hospital parking lot and proceeds to drip tears all the way to the door. Highly Emotion Girl has been highly emotional for 2-3 consecutive days, very unusual for this girl. She pulls herself together, fixes her face and goes in to see the most Beautiful Girl ever created. Beautiful Girl is very calm, calmer than any of the past few days.

Funny Friend Joe comes to visit Beautiful Girl. Highly Emotional Girl is on the verge of tears again, why, she is unsure, but she manages to keep it together. Nice Nurse comes in and suggests we put Beautiful Girl in a wheel barrel and pull her up and down the hall. Highly Emotional Girl thinks it is a wonderful idea and starts to get giddy at the anticipation of taking Beautiful Girl out of the confines of her now boring room.

All of us pull Beautiful Girl down the hall and into the playroom. The nurses leave us and Funny Friend Joe puts a ball on Beautiful Girl’s chest and tells her to “grab the ball, get it.” Beautiful Girl works and works and tries her best to GET THAT BALL. She finally kind of gets it and then it falls and she immediately starts crying. Simultaneously, Big Brother walks into playroom. Concerned Father had called Big Brother and he came down immediately. Highly Emotional Girl bursts into tears….AGAIN!! Thank God for waterproof mascara.

Highly Emotional Girl scoops Beautiful Girl up into her arms and holds her to look out the window. Beautiful Girl loves every moment, her eyes darting all over, just taking in the outside world. Beautiful Girl LOVED the wheel barrel so much. Beautiful Girl had some tests done yesterday. Beautiful Girl does not have digestive problems. Beautiful Girl’s shunt is NOT malfunctioning. Beautiful Girl seems to throw up for neurological reasons. Beautiful Girl will have a NEW tube put in through her nose to her Jejunum (past stomach and Duodenum) tonight. Beautiful Girl will finally get to eat again. Beautiful Girl will be evaluated for a few days to make sure she is tolerating feeds. Beautiful Girl will then have G/J tube put in. Beautiful Girl will then be evaluated for a few more days to make sure it is OK. Beautiful Girl may then be transferred to UCD.

Highly Emotional Girl will take Beautiful Girl out of her room as much as possible. Highly Emotional Girl will continue to press Kaiser to “PLEASE JUST LET ME TAKE HER OUTSIDE!!!!!!” Highly Emotional Girl realized just how boring Beautiful Girl’s room is and will go on shopping spree. Highly Emotional Girl will try to not be so highly emotional and return to normal state of 2-3 days prior. Highly Emotional Girl hates being highly emotional as she scares the hell out of everyone around her.

Highly Emotional Girl is doing much better and is going back to the hospital now as Beautiful Girl may have woken from her slumber.

*** A wagon NOT a wheel barrel (for some reason I keep calling it the wrong name)***


  1. I just emailed highly emotional girl to find out how beautiful girl was doing. Apparently girl who doesn't talk on the phone should have just checked highly emotional girls blog. DUH. On a more serious note I think you have every right on gods green earth to be highly emotional girl. I know it is out of your ordinary but good lord you have been one strong mama. I hope you get to be less emotional soon and I hope you make those silly doctors and nurses take that beautiful girl outside!!!!! But I can just see her in that wagon beautiful, although picturing you wheeling a wheelbarrow down the halls of the hospital was funny. My vision came with some dirt and a shovel along with Avi. Hey that might be brilliant bring the outside in!!!!!!

  2. you could decorate beautiful girl's hospital room with mickey mouse decorations if you haven't returned them. if you have, you could go buy them again! you go ahead and be all the highly emotional you want and need to be. You are beautiful girl's strength and love.

  3. I just stumbled onto your blog from another blog and I just read the last three months of your posts. I am so, so sorry for what has happened to your beautiful baby girl. I am also so happy about your last post. I will be praying for Aviana daily.
    Hugs to you and your family!

  4. Emotions are NECESSARY. You HAVE to let them out...even though it's scary.

    I am an EXPERT in keeping my emotions in check.

    I lost my father to cancer, lost a daughter to a disrupted adoption, etc. Learned to function w/o crying. I am a master at it.

    But. It. Is. Not. Healthy.

    So good on you Highly Emotional Girl.

    You did just what you should.


  5. Hello HIGHLY EMOTIONAL GIRL...I'm HIGHLY EMOTIONAL GIRL too!! Although I've never experienced anything like what you and your hubby are going through, I can GUARANTEE... you're not scaring anyone! They'd be worried if you weren't coo-coo for cocoa puffs every once in a while. It's natural for us Momma's!! One thing I've learned experiencing postpardum depression is not to be too hard on myself and let the people around me be there to lean on. Lean on em girl. Let it out! Let it all out! You're gonna keep on lettin it out periodically too. Don't you just cry and cry and cry and then when you're all done you take deep deep breathes. In with the good out with the bad. You taking those deep breathes helps give you strength to take on the next challenge even if it's as simple as taking out the trash or as difficult as watching your baby girl struggle with new tubes, tests, feedings ect. As much as crying makes you feel weak - when you're done it's given you new strength.
    Today is Sienna's birthday. She is one today and I can't help but think about Avi! You, Dave and Avi are always in my thoughts.Jennifer....you're always in my prayers!
    I'm excited to hear that you're going on a shopping spree. That always cheers me up especially when I'm getting something for my little boogie! Sending you warm and fuzzy shopping vibes and I have visions of a giant Mickey Mouse (example at FATHEAD.COM) on Avi's walls to spruce up the place!


  6. Hello highly emotional girl, It makes complete sense to me, but if you have been emotions in check girl for years, yes, it surely seems odd for you and for others...I think it's just perfect, albeit draining, I'm sure.

    I have been one prone to high emotions, events permitting, so I am used to it...don't think those around me ever get used to it.

    I love the visual of her in a wheel barrel, but the wagon does seem more comfortable and yes, yes yes, outside and shopping spree---again, your mommy instincts are so amazing to me---listen and trust those---you are doing so well, and emotions are in order for sure.

    hugs, prayers and support daily,


  7. Hey, Highly Emotional Girl!
    Letting your emotions out is NOT a sign of weakness! Let it all out, and then find your strength again! Find it in Avi, find it in Dave, find it in your family, your friends, your blog followers. And on Avi's birthday, I encourage you to celebrate. Celebrate your Beautiful Girl's life, celebrate the love she has taught you, celebrate your family and friends!
    I'll be celebrating with you!
    Love you,
    Your Highly Emotional Cousin! ;-)

    PS. My vision of the wheel barrel involved cement. :-D

  8. Just found your blog through another. I am praying for you and Aviana and the whole family. Go ahead and be emotional. It is healing.

  9. You need to be highly emotional girl, your body has to start releasing all tha is tied up in there. I use to be the absolutley never cry girl, now thats gone, I don't know thats its better but I guess its better for my body. I would go back and buy some of the decorations and put them in her room she will still enjoy them regardless and you enjoyed picking them out the first time. Let her have her Mickey Birthday even though its not the one that was planned.

  10. My dear
    I am highly emotional all the time and it is hard around other people but they get it so please don't let that add to all the things that are hard in your life.
    I too would give Aviana as much color and fun to look at as you can.
    Still praying for a speedy realease to home.
    V's Grama

  11. That is the cutest little wagon! I'm so glad that we got to come by to see Avi and meet your parents. Avi looked so peaceful asleep on your mom's chest.

  12. I just stumbled on your blog a couple of weeks ago. Just wanted you to know that I am praying for Avi and your family...and FYI the visual of a wheelbarrow made me smile!

  13. Jen & Dave,

    First, the image of a wheelbarrow in the halls at Kaiser was funny. You need to laugh once-in-a-while right now.

    May you continue to have the Highly Emotional Girl moments, hours, and days. As a mental health professional, I assure you that it's those Highly Emotional Girl times that help to release the worries, tensions, fears, anxieties, and everything else from within the confines of your physical body and your emotions, mind, and spirit. As others have said, I think your family and friends should be worried if you don't turn into Highly Emotional Girl at times.

    Finally, decorate Aviana's room with all the Mickey Mouse stuff you can buy. Celebrate her birthday with her, to the best of your's and her abilities. You can have the birthday celebration you had previously planned when she's back with you, Dave, and the family critters.

    May God continue to surround you, Dave, and Aviana with His love and comfort. May the Lord guide Aviana's medical team and continue to give her the strength she needs to be your little fighter!

    In God's peace,
    Tina B.

  14. just another guatemama stranger popping by to check in again on you and your family. i am holding you all in love and light, and think of you often.

    you just hang in there emotional girl, you're not alone. although it feels so overwhelming on top of everything else, it is letting those emotions flow that will get you through this.

  15. Another Guatemama who continues to pray for you all! I pray too that you get that sweet little girl outside...sunshine, wind...let her experience the life outside that room.

    The wheel barrel made me smile too! My grandpa used to put the grandkids in his and run around the yard...the giggles were just amazing.

    Flora's mom

  16. When all that's around you
    Seems awkward with trouble
    When people surround you
    And make your work double
    When all you can think of
    Is why do they pry
    When words seem to fail you
    It's ok to cry

    When all that surrounds you
    Is hopeless and sad
    When some people harm you
    They treat you so bad
    When they leave you so lonely
    And tell you a lie
    When no thought seems to comfort
    It's ok to cry

    When tears sting the lonely
    And your empty heart aches
    When your question you ask
    Is why my heart breaks
    When friends reach a hand to you
    Once more you ask why
    When you sit there and wonder
    It's ok to cry

    When you ask yourself why again
    Your heart full of fear
    When all around hurts so
    Just too much to bear
    When you need help understanding
    You know you must try
    When nothing else helps you

    -A poem I've always loved from Chicken Soup For The Soul