Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Thank you all for your sweet, supportive comments. You guys are the best. I hope none of you thought I would ever stop writing like I do though. It all is me and me is all I want to be :o)

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I have to say, October has been quite the doozy of a month. And if that wasn't enough in itself, someone thought it important for us to take a trip to the ER.

This past Friday night, we were making cupcakes for my cousin's annual Halloween party. We took a break from them and went to the mall. Once we got back it was time to feed Aviana dinner. I was talking to my dad on the phone in the kitchen and Dave was putting Aviana in her stander in order to feed her. Yes, he feeds her in that crazy contraption. Aviana displays decorticate posturing and this causes her feet to point outward. Many times a day, to get her into her boots, to put her in the stand, etc we are both required to bend her feet into a more natural position. Dave was doing this and all of a sudden I heard my name, firm and loud. I took one look at him and knew it was bad. I hung up with my dad. Aviana was screaming her face off. Dave said her foot just snapped. It completely gave way. That has never happened before. Her foot is always rigid and at this time it was swelling and floppy. We were beside ourselves.

I held her tight and tried to calm her down as Dave called the advice nurse. The ER doctor recommended we bring her in. I knew we were in for about a 5-6 hour night, so I asked if Dave could bring her and start the clock while I gathered some coffee, sweatshirts, etc for the night. I also packed Rainey up and was going to bring her to my brother's house.

I had kept it together for Aviana, but the second the door shut, the floodgates released. I was distraught. I was so upset and cried to my dad, my brother, my mom, Dave...heck I would have cried to a calling telemarketer at that point. I wasn't crying because she may have possibly sprained or broken her ankle, but over what this actually meant. It meant she is breaking down. It meant her bones are becoming brittle. It meant no matter how much we fight back, the truth of the matter is ~ she is deteriorating. It meant our little 5 year old girl is falling apart before our very eyes. It meant that because she cannot move like you and I or use her muscles like we can ~ she is slowly, but surely withering away.

I was also crying because in her short little life she has been through more than anyone I know.  It is simply not right for her to have to live through anymore pain and anguish. She doesn't deserve anymore. She is an innocent, sweet little girl and should be doing and experiencing what other kids her age are. She should have been running around the kitchen begging me for one more cupcake or to try on her Halloween costume. I wanted to throw my fists in the air and scream....please, just let her BE!! Let us be! We've been through enough. We are just trying to survive. Leave us alone!

The last part of this weepy mess of a mom was that she got hurt before she ate dinner, so she was probably hungry. Dave took her food, but I thought she would be too upset to eat.

Anyway, I dried my tears and packed the car. I slid into the driver's seat, had my R-dog in the passenger seat, coffee in the cup holders and was just about to open the garage. It was then that Dave texted me and told me she sprained her ankle and they were just about to leave the ER. It was the fastest trip to the ER ever, and it was about 10pm on a Friday night when he got there. I was so relieved.

She is not allowed to do anything that involves her ankle for the week. While I am happy to see her healing, I am terrified of what else is happening below that beautiful, brown, glowing skin of hers.


  1. I sure didn't see that "happy" ending coming. I saw a four hour ER visit at the very least so I'm thinking you dodged a bullet and thank goodness for that! I guess Someone up there heard you!

    Let the baking resume!


  2. Jen, I am so sorry. This post made me cry (out loud, husband thinks I'm crazy crying at the computer screen again!). You are so right - she DOESN'T deserve any of this. Neither do you. That being said, I am so glad it is just a sprain (and not a break), and that your ER stint was short lived. I'm thinking of you all and sending good thoughts.

  3. I didn't see your Monday post until I read this one. I'm sorry but it cracked me up when you wrote "darn" something. Darn? Really? Is this 1948? Could you not think of dagnabbit? For some reason it made me laugh.

    I love you. It sucks. I cannot imagine how it sucks for you. I.Cannot.Imagine.

    But I love you. I love Aviana. And Dave is pretty cool too :)


  4. thank you for being 100% all you <3

    and sharing the rollercoaster of your life. my heart wrenched through every word until dave texted that they were coming home.......

    miss u guys!

  5. You know how you get to the point where there is so much to say but yet can't find the words to say it? That's me right now. I'm so glad the ER trip was relatively short even though it was a weekend night and I'm very relieved it was a sprain. Hopefully the swelling has gone down by now.

  6. Oh, no! Poor baby girl. I hope she heals quickly. I can understand your worries about her bones, her muscles...her little body deteriorating. It's a scary thing to think about. And it sure isn't fair. She deserves so much more :(

  7. Jenn,
    I think about Aviana so often- my heart aches for all the pain you, dave, and Aviana have endured. The love of a child is endless- I ask God to fill your hearts with peace and the strength to continue on your journey. That God may heal your little girl and bring a smile back to her sweet little face. “Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well.”
    James 5:15

    Trust in God, and rely in Him, there is power in prayer and faith in our Lord.
    LOVE YOU ALL! Mayra

  8. I was absolutely breathless as I read this! My God, Jen, I am so happy that she is ok. I cannot even imagine the fear, panic, helplessness that you and Dave must have felt in those moments. Love you all so much
    Fi's mama xoxox

  9. ... and i know this is not the first (or even second) time you've felt those feelings, and if I had to guess, not the worst time either.
    Hugging you from here
    Fi's mama

  10. Oh dear Lord, I can't imagine what that must have felt like, the panic and instant horror. I am so glad that it isn't broke. Poor baby, she was in so much pain. :( I hope by now she is healing and on her way to recovery. Poor little pumpkin.