Friday, December 3, 2010

The Hardest Part

I have been carrying the bulk of the program out myself again for a little over a week. While I love spending so much time with Aviana, I was quickly reminded of one simple fact. It is not....

The mountainous amount of therapy,

The cooking,

The constant care,

The binding shackles,



that's the hardest part.

I was, almost instantly, teleported back to the months prior to nursing care.  The most difficult part of this journey is staring the brain injury beast straight in the face. Being up close and personal with it. Having it force its ugly self onto me, all day long.

Nursing care provides a sort of distance from the exact reality of Aviana's state. I'm not saying we ever forget, but it provides some, much needed, separation.

While I am zooming around the house doing laundry, working on her reading program, or grocery shopping, I am given a temporary break from our reality.

I have tried to make light of, or push the obvious issue aside. When that didn't work, I tried to lovingly embrace it.

The Brain Injury Beast does not appreciate being pushed aside!

He is forceful.

He persists.

He is not happy until he breaks you.

He is a bastard!

Little does he know, in the end, he will not prevail!


  1. Mr. Brain Injury can F off!

    (I really do hope you can find a good nurse soon. Even an hour of respite a day goes a long way towards maintaining your sanity.)

  2. You do have some great assets in life - a gorgeous hubby and you are extremely pretty (from pics I can see), so once you find the right nurse - go out dancing and show off!!Others wish they looked like you and had him!

  3. i hope that you found another company that will be abel to find you someone wonderful. I used to do therapy for a 6 year old autistic boy. His mom was mostly home, but to be a parent and the 25/7 therapist is hard on the child and the parent.