Monday, April 26, 2010

Nurse Hunt - Part 4

I must interrupt our regularly scheduled program to make one small clarification.

We have found the perfect nurse! The perfect fit. The perfect pair of shoes. The one that "clicked" when we met her, etc.  I just wanted to post all of the events that lead us to her :o) More to come on that later...

So the next nurse who visited seemed to be a very nice person. She was pleasant to work with at first with just a few exceptions.

Red flags began to arrive fairly quickly though....

She was extremely talkative and while that may be a great thing for some people, for me it was terrible. The entire goal of bringing a nurse in was to provide a reprieve for me physically and emotionally. A time to decompress and detach myself from total care. I quickly realized this goal was not being met. Many times I felt I could not pull myself away.

The one time I did, I paid for it. I left my parents here with the nurse and it became blatantly clear that she was not able to work and chat at the same time. I returned after about an hour and fifteen minutes and almost NOTHING had been done. My head almost blew off in that very moment. I instantly knew I needed to remove myself from the situation as I was about to tear into her like a ferocious animal who hadn't eaten in about a months time.

I was prescribed Xanex by my doctor when the accident occurred, and only keep it on reserve for special occasions. By special occasions I mean when I feel my head may spontaneously disconnect from my body.  Needless to say, I popped a pill and went to fold laundry until it kicked in.

I returned and calmly explained why I was so upset. I feel that only about 40% of my point made its way through.  She did try to resolve our issue, so I decided to give her another chance.

Things took a very bad turn when she arrived one day and decided to vent about her company to my Mom and I. She asked me to write a letter to her company. I was not so nice this time. All I could think was, I would rather eat a bowl full of worms than battle another company. After all, battling companies is what I have been doing since August of last year.  The very thought of a letter made my skin crawl. I explained this to her in so many words, and I do believe she understood what I was saying this time.

Funny thing was, she must have apologized for venting to me about 4 more times throughout the rest of day. The problem was, they were entirely the wrong type of apology.  They were the sort where the apology is immediately followed by a BUT.  A mini-rant quickly follows the but.  More crap that I didn't have the energy to listen to.

I did not quite comprehend why it was so difficult to understand that I was not hiring nursing care for my health. I was not hiring nursing to gossip about her company. I was not hiring nursing for idle chit chat.  I was not hiring nursing to make more work for myself, etc.  I was hiring nursing to GET A FREAKIN' BREAK!!!!!!!!

This nurse also had a knack for going on and on about the fact that she did not need her job.  She made it a point to explain that because she had 21 rental properties she did not need to keep her current position.

That makes me feel more than comfortable....someone caring for my child who doesn't need her job!

Here's the straw that broke the camel's back:

I teach Aviana to read and since December I have worked hard to create all of her new reading cards. I'm talking hundreds and hundreds of cards.

I took them out at the end of the nursing shift and propped them up against the coffee table.  I was going to complete them once the nurse left.

The nurse took one look at them sitting there and said this, "Those aren't going to work on her." In that moment I had a close encounter of the 2nd kind. My head almost shot off again. Two times within about two days. I have to say, this is not good for ones health.

I will not go into all of the details as this post ended up being 3 times longer than I anticipated. I will just say that I am so sick and tired of people telling me what Aviana can't or won't ever do. I will never listen to this sort of talk ever again and I certainly will not have a nurse working with her who does not fully believe in her!!

Is it any surprise that she never stepped foot back into our home.


  1. It is amazing to me how many IDIOTS they have in this world..It really is amzaing! I am really glad this has a happy ending to it and that you found that special someone to take care of that precious baby girl! Thank you LORD! Keep those updates coming girl. We want to hear all about it!

  2. I think MY head almost blew right off when I read that!
    Who? What? Really? I mean are you fricken' kidding me? Those words really came out of her mouth??!!
    I can't wait to hear about the perfect nurse after weeding through all those trolls.

  3. All I can say is that I am so flustered reading this- seriously what kind of people are they sending you?!?!?!? I have made so many typos and have had to go back and retype- I wouldn't blame you for losing your cool- I am so glad that you mentioned finding your perfect nurse because I was about to blow up just reading about it!!! I can not believe she told you she didn't need her job! OMG!!!! You are such a trooper Jen! Can't wait to hear all about "the ONE"!!!!!

  4. If you assume she never will talk or walk again, she never will.


  5. I am so sorry! Hiring a nurse was supposed to make a horrible situation a little bit better, not make things more stressful. I am so sorry, something that you would think would be easy is so frusterating and horrible. I am so worked up reading it, I would love to call and yell at them. It is unbelievable how these nurses think you need to listen to their problems. Yikes, I hope this one is awesome. You deserve it!

  6. Wow... I just don't get some people! So glad you found one that works... can't wait to hear the good news that will come!

  7. I think I need a Xanex after reading that!

    SO glad you stuck with it to find the perfect nurse to help you! Can't wait to hear about it!


  8. surprise at all....she should be very grateful that you gave her all the opportunities that you did!

    "CAN'T & WON'T" are NOT part of our vocabulary.....there are no exceptions to this rule! ever :) do not pigeon-hole or limit anyone's potential...the sky is the limit for all that can be achieved

    i have a personal story that falls in-line with your life but it's longer than i have time to type today...promise i WILL share it with you tho'

    never give up....never give in...and NEVER settle for less!

    <3 ~j

  9. Your restraint is remarkable. I would have ended up in jail. Sorry..that's not really an encouraging comment. But I feel myself getting just as pissed off as I read this.
    BIG SIGH....girlfriend you are super human to be going through what your going through.
    I just read all that little boogie is doing and the new developments and I just want to do kartwheels. Ohhh that is soo exciting.
    I'm so proud of you. Can I say that without it being wierd. You amaze me with your spirit, force of nature and wittiness. I will be toasting to you Jenn this Mother's Day. You are a bad a$$ Momma!

  10. Go Girl!!! Avi has a part-rockstar part-warrior Mama!!!!!!!!!!