Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Patience Redefined

We live in a fast paced world, and if anyone pauses a second too long, others are quick to get upset.

Before the accident, I was guilty of, often times, being one of those people. I was never rude to others. I never, ever honked my horn, or said anything to anyone, but many times, my internal dialogue was terrible. Especially if I was in a hurry!!

After the accident, things changed. I can still be internally impatient at times, but overall, I see Aviana everywhere I go.  I also see any other person in the world who may be brain injured to some degree, or a person who may be going through something that cannot be seen by my naked eye.

It seems everywhere we go, I am constantly spouting off the same thing. It's like my tag line....'Maybe she's brain injured??'

I see these people when ~

I am at the ATM, waiting behind a person who is taking a very long time.

I am ordering a sandwich, and the girl is nervously trying to hurry, because she knows everyone expects  her to be quick.

the light has turned green, and the person in front of me has not realized it.

I am at the grocery store, and the person in front of me is taking more time than usual in making change.

I am at a department store, and he can't quite figure out the transaction with the money I gave him.

I am at a restaurant, and she can't calculate the coupon correctly.

Everywhere I go, there she is! 

My little teacher girl, I carry her with me in the world. She makes me a more kind, and compassionate person. It never ceases to amaze me what one tiny, little girl can do. She can't talk, but boy does she speak volumes!

What a beautiful, secret world we live in....

8 comments:

  1. Since we entered the world of developmental delay, I see that everywhere I go too. Same sort of thing . . . when the cashier is slow or awkward or whatever, I think, "that's someone's Sammie B! Maybe she's developmentally delayed?" My sweet girl has done much for me, and she's definitely taught me a level of compassion and patience many lack. Hugs to our little teachers.

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  2. It reminds me of song - They Don't Understand by Sawyer Brown. It does make you think. What are they dealing with? What are their challenges? Life changing things like this remind you that getting upset at the little things is silly.


    A mother riding on a city bus
    Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
    Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through
    Somebody said don't you even care?
    Do you let 'em do that everywhere?
    She slowly turned around, looked up and stared
    She said Please forgive them
    But they've been up all night
    Their father struggled but he finally lost his fight
    He went to heaven
    In the middle of the night
    So please forgive my children

    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's busy with their own situation
    Everybody's lost in their own little world
    Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
    Maybe we should stop and take a little time
    Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
    (They don't understand)


    A man driving on the interstate
    Slowing down traffic making everybody late
    Everybody's staring not knowing what he's going through
    Somebody honked from the passing lane
    Yellin' out the window, I ain't got all day
    The old man looked around and he caught his eye
    He said please forgive me
    You know it's been a long life
    My wife has passed away and my kids don't have the time
    I've been left all alone
    And its getting hard to drive
    So please forgive me children

    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's busy with their own situation
    Everybody's lost in their own little world
    Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
    Maybe we should stop and take a little time
    Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
    (They don't understand)

    A man hanging on a wooden cross
    Giving everything to save the lost
    Everybody's starin' not knowin' what he's going through
    Somebody said you don't have a prayer
    If you were king, come down from there
    The man just turned his head looked up and stared

    He said please forgive them
    For they have not seen the light
    They'll come to know me when I come back to life
    Go to heaven, to make everything all right
    So please forgive your children

    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's busy with their own situation
    Everybody's lost in their own little world
    Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true
    (They don't understand)
    Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow
    Maybe we should stop and take a little time
    Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through
    (They don't understand)

    A mother riding on a city bus
    Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss
    Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through

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  3. This is very valuable insight, something I know I need to keep in mind more often. It's so easy to get caught up in the "what's happening in my world only" mentality. I really appreciate this blog entry, Jen!

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  4. Reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes: "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle in their journey"

    I learned the same lesson, when Jimmy was in the hospital and they were getting ready to release him. I rushed off to Target to get all kinds of crazy things for his homecoming: bleach so I could sterilize the house, an air purifier (because god forbid he sneeze from allergies increase his brain size), a neck thing to stabilize hisneck on the long ride home, etc.. I was really just in a crazy, obssesive mode trying to not give into my horrifying fear of bringing home my brian-injured hsuband when a cashier at Target was just really rude to me, I didn't hear her asking me a question because I was wrapped up in my thoughts and she was just and impatient _____ (rhymes with witch). So I lost it and went off, right there in Target, crying and telling her she had no right to talk to me that way and she didn't know what I'd been through the last several weeks. I sobbed my story to probably abotu 10 people who were standing in line at various check stands and couldn't help but over hear this crazed, sobbing woman. I received many hugs from stangers that day and a really big apology from that girl. I'd like to think that I made an impact on her at least I hope I did. But from that point on I have always tried to remember that you never, ever know what someone else is going through and you should always be kinder than necessary.

    Love,
    Jess

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  5. It is so true that nobody knows what others are going through. It is great to have that perspective and patience as you go through life. I wish everyone had that realization.

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  6. I really get it too - talk about changed perspectives!

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  7. Hi,

    I've been following your blog for awhile. I don't remember exactly how I came accross it, but when I did, I sat for hours reading everything from the beginning. I just wanted to let you know that your post today was wonderful. Ever since I heard of your little girl's struggle, I have thought of her (and your family) during my day. I find myself wondering what struggles the person beside me is having. So, I just wanted to let you know that your little girl has not only taught you, but she has also, in a way, opened a complete stranger's eyes to the unseen. Thank you for that.

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