Monday, April 4, 2011

More About You Mondays

I have to start by saying, thank you for responding! Having these stories to read throughout my weepy week was wonderful. Your stories were hilarious!!

Okay, I didn't think this through all too well. It turns out, when I ask you for your most embarrassing moment, I have to tell you, mine.

It's not rocket science, but once again, the obvious always seems to escape me! Once I realized it was my turn, I felt comfortable in telling you my number one 'falling down' story. It involved high shoes, Target, and a fall that wiped out the entire wall of gift bags, tissue, ribbon, bows, etc. This was all coupled with an onlooker saying, "the price we women pay for fashion!" as she pushed her cart past me.

It turns out that story wasn't good enough for some of my close family, and friends. The embarrassment of the other story washed over me like it just happened today, rather than 12 years ago. I decided I couldn't do it, but Dave insisted. He graciously pointed out that I had asked everyone else, and that you deserved this in return.

I hope with the extensive build up, my story will not be all that embarrassing to you after all!!

So I used to work in sales, and sometimes had time in between appointments for shopping. I was up in the sticks, and decided to stop at a department store.

I picked a few things out to try on, and proceeded on to the dressing room. The store was pretty dead, and no one was back there, so I let myself in. I tried my clothes on, hung them all back up, and collected my belongings.

I pulled the door to let myself out, and this is where the horror began. The door was stuck. I pulled, and pulled, and pulled. I unlocked, locked, and unlocked, over, and over again. I was getting so frustrated, as the minutes were quickly stacking up. Only one person came back at the time I was stuck, and it was early on, so I didn't call out. By the way, I am not the type of person to yell out, "Excuse me, I think I am stuck in the dressing room!" I am stubborn, and was determined to figure this out myself.

After pulling some more. I sat back on the bench, and thought for a moment. I could not figure out why the door wouldn't budge. I then thought I would just simply crawl under. Seemed like a great idea. It wasn't until I got down on the floor, and closer to the door, that I realized just how small the space was. There was no way I would fit under.

So, I pulled some more, and when that, once again, didn't work, I devised a brilliant plan. I decided to lift one leg up, plant my foot firmly on the side of the wall, and pull with all my might. When that plan went up in smoke, I retired back to my bench. By this time, I had worked up quite a sweat. I was sitting wishing I had brought my cell phone in. What would this help, I wondered? Well, I thought I would be able to call Dave for advice, or maybe even call the front of the store, because calling, and telling them I was stuck just seemed a tad less embarrassing than yelling out to someone.

I was really needing to get the h*ll out of there, because now I was running late to my next appointment. Finally, after about 30 minutes of this nonsense. I walked up to the door, my hair a sweaty, matted mess, my brain completely perplexed, and I pushed the door ever so slightly. To my complete horror, the darn thing opened right up. I was overcome with so many emotions at one time, the frontrunners being embarrassment, and stupidity. At that moment, if you looked up that word, you would surely see my stinkin' face.

On the way home, I had decided taking this one to the grave was best!! Once home though, Dave caught me laughing to myself, and insisted I spill. We still laugh to this day.

Seven years later, and after many, many drinks, I made the huge mistake of telling my dad. He has never let me forget, and thinks it is the best story ever.

I completely humiliated, and embarrassed myself, and the clencher is ~ there wasn't even anyone else involved. Usually a story is embarrassing for the simple fact that others were witness to the act.

Moral of this long, drawn out story....always try pulling, and pushing!

Who'da thunk????


So, I really need your help on this one! I really try and handle this entire 'Aviana occurrence,' and all its splendor, to the best of my ability. I find I am so thirsty for others' experiences in this area. Todays question is very deep, but I am asking if you could please take the time to answer, because I am really seeking out help.

The beautiful thing is, all it takes is one simple sentence that rings true to another, and things change....

I am wondering what your biggest struggles in life have been, and what have you found to be the best ways to help overcome them?

I know you may not want to publicly post about this subject, so if you would feel so inclined, my e-mail address is I want to thank you in advance for revisiting your struggle, I know it is hard to do.

Something I often encounter ~ some people don't want to tell me their story, if it is not as horrific as mine. Please do though, because what it boils down to, is struggle, and how to work to overcome it.

If you do send me a private e-mail, I want you to know, your secret is safe with me. I am known in my family as a vault. If someone tells me not to tell, I never do :o)


  1. I struggle constantly with wanting what I can't have. It sounds trivial, but in reality, it isn't. I was twelve when all of this health stuff starting happening. Back then it was migraines and weird leg cramps. Then I started getting ulcers that coated my entire mouth when I was going into my sophomore year of high school. Flash forward, and I'm Quasimodo if I don't take my Ativan.

    What I struggle with is what I haven't been able to achieve. I compare myself to others, and in reality, I can't do that. I just can't. They haven't dealt with what I have. If I didn't have these hurdles, who knows where I'd be in live. I probably wouldn't have met Adam and had our beautiful daughter. I probably wouldn't be living with family. I'd probably have a great career.

    I have to tell my mind to stop it. STOP comparing myself to others. Stop wanting and just enjoy what I have.

  2. Jen, I will post about my struggle when I have more time. But for now you can read my embarrassing moments on last Monday's blog. I LOVED your moments. I loved the dressing room story. That could have been me, for sure.

  3. I think the two things I struggle most with are doing what I think other people want me to do and the other is trying to fix things. A big ugly argument occurred in my family a few years ago and to this day my sister does not talk to me or most of my immediate family. Since then I had to do a lot of soul searching and the conclusion I have come to so far is that when faced with a tough decision you have to do whatever it is that brings you peace of mind. Not what others want you to do or what you think others want you to do. By making the decision that brings you peace you are staying true to yourself.
    When it comes to less emotional struggles and more physical or mental struggles I find that just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other will eventually get me to the finish line. :-)

    I wish you peace Jen.


  4. My biggest struggle has not being able to get pregnant. This was tough. I got thru it by reading the bible every day and knowing that God is in control. We did get pregnant via IVF and then our daughter was born with air way problems, was in the NICU for a month, had a feeding tube for a year and 4 surgerys. During that time I again knew things were out of my hands but were all in Gods hands. I look back now and thank God for those trials because it truly brought me closer to him.

  5. Hi Sweetie,

    So here goes - I struggle with the fact that I do have a pretty good life and yet, it would seem that I am not very appreciative. I still find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I do not look forward to the day and this makes me feel like a very selfish, ungrateful person. I have overcome a lot in my life, my parents divorcing and my dad leaving us kids, my mom's alcoholism, being a single mom myself for many years and some other things that I will not mention here but I overcame them all, and have NOTHING to complain about, yet I do not feel much joy in my life. What a whiny baby I am ;^)

  6. This is my first time commenting so I want to say first that I love reading your blog. You are so honest with the good, bad and ugly. I often find myself laughing, crying or both reading you blog. I find it refreshing! Thank you for being so willing to share your life with complete strangers.

    I went through my biggest struggle about 4 years ago. Growing up I had always been extremely close to my mom. My dad was never around much and my mom was always there to fill both of their shoes. She was a single mom who worked nights to take care of us. She was amazing on so many levels. She was strong in her faith and she didn’t just talk about it she lived in with her every action. She was always supportive and caring and not a day went by without me knowing how much she loved me. I was married in 2004 and had a baby boy about a year later. Life was treating us well and my mom adored her new grandson more than words can say and he adored her right back. (you know that Grandma can do NO WRONG ;))I can honestly say she was my best friend. She had battled colon cancer at a very young age (30) and had beat it. At 43 she was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had a full hysterectomy. My husband and I moved back in with my mother to take care of her when she was sick. I have to say it SUCKS to watch someone you love so much die right before your eyes. The suffering and sadness that a family endures when going through cancer is overwhelming. I felt like I had to be strong for my mom. She was so worried that I would not be okay, and to tell you the truth I was beyond worried myself. I thought when she died I would be confined to a dark room surrounded by darkness and tears. I could not imagine my life without her. She had been my rock my entire life and I didn’t see how I could carry on without her. I thought to myself, who will I call 10 times a day with pidily stuff? Who would let me call them 10 times a day and act happy to hear my voice every time? Who would love me unconditionally as she had? We knew in March of 07 that she was going to die. She was sent home on hospice and given 6-12 months to live. She lasted 2. She died in May of 07. I was 24 and my little brother was 15. My husband and I got custody of my brother and have been taking care of him since. It was the saddest, most difficult time in my life. I still have days that are filled with sadness and pain but I did not fall in to a deep dark hole and disappear like I thought I would. March-May is a hard time for me every year. Her birthday was in March, she died in May and then of course Mother’s day follows that. As much as I am thankful to be a mother myself it still pains my heart to know I no longer have my mom. I feel like God got me through the most difficult time in my life. I also was able to see so clearly that my situation could have been worse. No matter what direction I turned my head it never took me long to find someone who was going through something so much more difficult than me. Today, I find it very therapeutic to read blogs such as yours and pray for others who desperately need it. I felt like I had to move forward in a positive way for my brother and son. I have to say my husband is a pretty fantastic guy as well. I am so thankful that he was so supportive and loving and patient with my family. He could have taken off running but he was there with me through thick and thin. When I started this post I had no idea it would be this long. Sorry for the storybook. Please know that your family is constantly in my thoughts and prayers!! Tonight my keyboard is covered with tears :)

    Michelle Allen

  7. My biggest struggle has been dealing with a severely mentally ill parent. I was 1 of 4 kids in my family, and somehow my "role" was caretaker of Mom. When she was sad, depressed or worse, I was the one to be sent to the front lines to try to cheer her up or make her better. As a kid I didn't understand that I couldn't do that, so I tried and tried but was never successful. My Mom would lock herself in her room for weeks or months and not get out of bed. Sometimes she would take my little sister and leave for a week or so without telling us where she was going. It was hard and even harder because I loved her.
    When my father after 38 years decided to leave hre, my mother completely fell out of reality. She told me she expected me to quit my job, and leave my husband to come be with her. She would send me hate mail telling me how awful I was, and finally sent me my dear Gram's ashes in a tangerine box in the mail.
    I finally decided that I needed to take care of ME after 27 years (at the time) of taking care of her. I decided it was MY turn, and I let her out of my life. I didn't return phone calls, or the hate mail. I just stopped.
    I'm still sad that I don't have a relationship with my mother, and that my daughter doesn't know and will probably never know her gradmother...but I chose the lesser of two evils. Not having her in my life is terrible...but unfortuntaely, having her in my life is worse.

    I love your blog and its honesty! I hope my story helps in some small way.

  8. i struggle with life

    i struggle with trying to be the best me i can be and often falling short of the mark

    i struggle with my desire for children (my own or adopted)

    i struggle with my weight .... shape .... physical fitness (or lack of)

    i struggle with 'selflessness disorder' (yes i coined that one) it's where you think and do for others before thinking/doing for yourself to an EXTREME

    I struggle with depression - mild....not to the point of not wanting to get out of bed or end it all...just a darkness that sometimes won't go away.

    I struggle with loss.....i was not ready to become an 'orphan' when my parents died

    I struggle with keeping the family ties with my siblings when it's so easy for us to all go our separate ways in our busy lives

    I struggle with chronic back pain - herniated discs in both my upper & lower back caused by degenerative back disease

    i cope through many songs from so many genres can express the thoughts and feelings i can not put into words

    i cope through an eternal optimist, no matter how bad it gets i can always see the silver lining.....somewhere

    i cope through my faith, my belief in God and that there is a life after this in which we will all meet again and there is no more pain no more suffering.

    i cope with the thought that tomorrow is another day to try again.

  9. Good question. I have a similar "accident" in my life, and I haven't figured it out yet. But finding others that have gone through something similar, and yet, are STILL going on with life - that helps. I find people to look up to and follow. And breathe in and out.