Monday, October 1, 2012

Soul Food

We all know, in order for your body to not only survive, but thrive, you must feed it appropriately. You must give yourself the nutritious bits and pieces of food required in order to function properly. If you want your system to serve you well, you must provide sufficient amounts of energy in order to accomplish what you want and need. Well, okay. Sounds simple, right?

Well, the same is true for your soul! And here's where I think it gets a little tricky. You must feed your soul in the very same, well thought out, perfectly planned way in which you strive to fuel your body. Easy as pie, right? Well...guess what, take it from me, a pie baker - pie maker...pie isn't so easy!! I'm thinking whoever coined that term never made a pie ; )

Here's a small snapshot of this soul sista! I know what works for me, and I had been doing/eating all the bits and pieces all along. But you know what? At about this time last year, I finally got better, better than I had ever been since the accident. As I got more comfortable, I consumed less of the soul food I so desperately needed. And what happened next was, my soul body was unknowingly becoming deficient.

As time passed on, as it does, I thought I was okay. I was still holding on tightly to certain things, so in my mind, I was okay. And for normal life, I probably was. But for my life, and for any influx...I have to take extra precautions. Oh hindsight, you sometimes suck!

I was still figuratively; placing pen to paper, and that alone soothes me like no other. Pie Night was in full commencement every week. Other baked goods were loving being disbursed many other nights a week. Music therapy was in full affect, as iTunes was of course still getting half my bank account. A good deal if I say so myself. I was still reading some of my soul fulfilling books, here and there. One by one though, each of my other very important pieces of food got shelved, and were actually gathering dust!

I should have learned my lesson back in March with what happened to Aviana with her failed liver biopsy, but I didn't. That was a tidal wave that more than rocked my boat, but I just kept on baking through it. I figured berries, bananas, batter, and bark could fix anything, right? I withstood the storm, on my own. I did not seek counseling, I did not really pick up any more pieces of what works for me, I just kept on through. If ever I needed these broken pieces to be repaired, it was then. But I kept on, on my merry way.

Then, in no time, I was doing better than ever again. But I knew another wave was coming, and it was a big one, the biggest of the year for me, and that was Aviana's birthday. I completely prepared myself for it. I planned a trip away with Sophie, months in advance for the weekend before, just in case. I did better than ever this year, but still... with Gary, and some other things...August, and so forth, have jolted me.

I have come to the realization that what I have previously used to sustain myself when I am doing really well wasn't enough to feed me through the rough waters that will always make their way through. When the waves hit, I will always need to have an extra food supply on board, to not only survive, but also thrive. Because of my total disregard for basic nutrition, I have worn thin, depleted myself. I haphazardly scattered my pieces about over the past year and has taken me awhile to even gain the strength and energy to gather together the food I so desperately need.

Avi is, as you know, so when anything else happens to rock this reignites an already burning flame. In my previous life, the things that go bump would normally burn as a fire, but in this new life...I have to now know that the flame can very quickly turn into a bonfire. I must be prepared. I can never relax as I did. I have to always put in the work, even and especially, if I am at my best.

I have finally learned my lesson, and am feeling so much better. I know what works for me and have been putting in the time, energy and effort. My mind, body and spirit are much more at ease and I will never again be careless with my soul!


  1. Oh. My. Heck.

    I dare you to go read my post from yesterday. We are on the same wavelength. I even TALKED about you and Aviana...and in regards to pretty much what you just said in this post.

    Learning through a trial by fire. A trial we had/have NO control of. But we still learn. YOU are a perfect example (which is why I talked about ya ;)



  2. I'm so sorry. You can't see the forest for the trees sometimes. And it's so easy to just work, work, work, deny, deny, deny, avoid, avoid, avoid and just do things instead of DOING things.

    I love you!!!!