Thursday, April 26, 2012

Happy Day

Today was my Uncle Roger's birthday. We were lucky enough to spend the day with him. I know you've heard a lot about my uncle. He has been coming over to our house every Thursday since Aviana's accident. Can you imagine? That's close to three years now. You may be thinking he lives close to us, but he doesn't. Barring traffic, it takes him about 45 minutes each way. Now that's love.

I always look forward to his visit - for a multitude of reasons. He loves spending time with Aviana. He genuinely loves being with her. Truthfully - he, my mom and Gary don't really come to see me. I just happen to be the one who opens the door (wink, wink)! Most who come to our house, somehow inadvertently and for various reasons end up interacting mainly with us. Sadly because Aviana doesn't interact by doing all the things normal people do...she becomes a wallflower. Roger's full attention is always on Aviana and I just love it. And of course...she does too!

My uncle is a walking encyclopedia, but in a good way. I love talking to and learning from him. He's had and continues to have, such an interesting life. He's inspiring, and gently nudges me to always pursue my passions and dreams. I need, and appreciate that greatly, because we can easily get lost in Aviana's unending attention and care. Week after week, I realize - he makes me a better person by just being around him.

I also always know I can do whatever I need on Thursdays. No strings attached. No guilt. No drama. No bad feelings. In my experience, help often comes with some sort of something some point. And for that exact reason,  I tend to take everything on myself! Not with Roger. I usually prefer to stay around, but also know if I need to run errands, my uncle's got it covered. Not only does he have it covered, but when I return from wherever I am, Rainey is sure to be panting and Aviana's wearing a perfectly sun kissed face. My uncle will have taken them to the park for some much needed fresh air. The wheelchair, the Chuck-It, the leash, the bags, all back in their places. And Aviana...perfectly at peace on his lap listening to one of her favorite books. It's truly amazing.

He's there in every way possible. He has helped us with patterning and all kinds of other therapy. He and my Aunt Rella have traveled back and forth across the country to Philadelphia twice with us to The Institutes. Dave discusses financial decisions with him. He has talked us through life and death decisions regarding Aviana. He was there for me through some of the very worst moments with Kama. He helps my mom and Gary with everything they've been through with this tragedy, and more. He mediates between this crazy one of us, and that one. He has no problem putting aside whatever it is he is doing in order to be by our side.

I feel bad sometimes because there is something about him every Thursday...that brings on the tears. I couldn't quite figure it out until this past week. I nada  pattern of being strong all week, and then, I would take one look at him, and break. It was because I care so much for him and know he cares equally for us. That particular dynamic causes that to happen. I notice I do the very same thing with my mom, and my dad too. I'm sure you can relate. One look at people who care deeply, or just hearing their voice, and it's over....the floodgates have released!

Roger has been an absolute rock for us. I am so thankful for him. We would surely be way worse off! I hope everyone has someone like him in their life. He makes for a much richer, worthwhile journey.

As you all know, I struggled greatly to bond with Aviana. After the accident, it finally came completely full force and naturally - just as I had always wished for. I put the relationship I have gained with my Uncle Roger right up there with the one I have with Aviana.  It's amazing the blessings, which come from the ashes.

Amy and I asked Roger what kind of Birthday Pie we could make for him.

He requested Chocolate Cream.

 Apparently Uncle Roger got Aviana's "don't forget to wear an orange shirt and blue pants" birthday party memo!

"You're The Best Uncle A Girl Could Ever Have Pie." 


  1. I read several blogs and I love how angels reveal themselves. I'm so glad Aviana and you have several. I think you attract them.


  2. Uncle Roger is the best! What an amazing man - I am so happy I had the honor of meeting him. There is definitely something about his presence, he has such a calming affect on those around him. Please tell him Happy Birthday from the Zuveys ♥

  3. He's such a kind soul. :) Hope you had a wonderful birthday, Roger!

  4. Amazing man! Happy Birthday Uncle Roger! Everyone should be so lucky to have him as an uncle. :)

  5. Happy Birthday Uncle Roger:) Chocolate cream pie is the best:)

  6. What a blessing to have such a special uncle in your lives! He is a true example of love and putting others first. It's neat to read of his committment to your family. He deserves a Happy Birthday, if ever anyone did. And a chocolate cream pie would be my pie of choice, too!
    Nancy in the Midwest

  7. He seems like an awesome person. I hope to have an "Uncle Roger" in my life someday. Happy Birthday sir!