Friday, March 16, 2012

These Are the Moments


I curse you, you mother effin, piece of s, @$%$^$, brain injury.

Dave is going skiing tomorrow,

And I want to grab my mom and go to Costco to get some berries,

Maybe head to the mall,

Look around.

Get Aviana a new book.

Maybe go to lunch,

Probably chomp on some lettuce wraps.

Dave is taking the Tahoe.

Silly me.

I thought he could quickly put the other carseat,

in our other car.

Oh yeah!

She can't walk!

Her wheelchair,

And even stroller,

Don't fit in the other freakin' car.

That is...

Unless we take the damn wheels off.


I'm over it.

Not worth it.

I'll just get my berries,

and her book,

when Dave gets home.

The end.

I hate you brain injury!

F- you!

You take, take, take.

I'm tired of you.

I'm sick of looking at your ugly mug all. day. long.

I told you.

It's always the little things that push me over.


If I really think about it,

It's not the little things.

The big things tend to come out in the little.

This whole thing is too much sometimes.

This week has been difficult, for so many reasons.

It's been a good week,

but just hard.

Hard in the ways of being out in the real world.

The normal world.

A world in which we no longer belong.

I found myself a little too far from the protective bubble I safely surround myself in.

The Power of NOW.

The Power of NOW.

I must move on to another place.

Another space : )


  1. Bless your heart..just go ahead, yell, complain, fuss all you want, you sure deserve it hun. Then somehow find that courage you have inside of you, look in those darling eyes of Aviana and somehow find everyn bit of blessing you can think of to get thru another day, but know, it's ok to be mad, and yell again, but stay strong too. ((((BIG hugs) to you dear sweet you!

  2. I wish I live anywhere near you. I'd watch your baby girl while you did the things you needed to do.

  3. Tell it, girl! I think I said the same things today. Except for mine went like this, "GODDAMMIT!" I said it so loud it scared me and then I slammed the door five times and scared my dog. This f-ing sucks. Cheers! Time for a drink.

  4. I hope you got out, and afer listening to the weather report for Tahoe, I hope Dave did, too.

    I was wondering....could you use one of the big McLaren strollers for outings? Because, if you could, I'd happily donate to that fund. Seriously!


  5. I am late commenting to your post. So I hope by now things are looking up for you. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of not normal things in a normal world. I am sure that you feel like a prisoner sometimes. I wish that I could help in some way. Sending you hugs!