Wednesday, February 17, 2010

All Better Now

This blog is the most amazing thing on earth. I love it more than I could ever have imagined. As you know, I woke up really upset yesterday. As I carried on with my day, I could actually feel myself slipping down the slide of doom. I was clinging to the sides for dear life. I actually felt I was playing a scene out of the movie, "A Christmas Story." I felt I was living the part where Santa kicked Ralphie down the slide. Needless to say, things progressively got worse.

Woe is me, dragged us all through doctors appointments, therapy, etc. It was terrible.

I later walked into my office; ferociously attacked the keyboard much like a wild beast, and actually walked out with a slight smile across my face. I literally purged everything out into blog form and then felt the world had been somewhat lifted from my shoulders!

I carried on with my day in a much better mood. I went and had dinner with my best friend. Laughing and great conversation never felt so good. She is always the best form of therapy! Thank you Jen, I love, love, love you!!!

I came home at about 11 and Dave and I stayed up until about 2, talking, watching American Idol, stuff like that. It ended up being a very nice night, which has lead to a great day today.

Last night, I couldn't help but think of a very normal conversation in our household prior to the accident. If Aviana was upset in any way, Dave would hug her and then when she calmed down, he would say, "Are you all better now?" Avi would then smile and say, "All better now!" She would then pop off his lap and get back into whatever it was she was doing!

Thank you to everyone for your concern and wonderful comments, e-mails, voicemails, etc. I can’t tell you how much each and every single one means to me. Don’t ever think twice about commenting to me. I love comments. I am also not easily offended and many times I am grasping for straws of knowledge, life experience, anything! It's also always so nice to know that you care and that I am not alone on this road of mine!


  1. In so many ways I can relate to your life, while deployed I always thought to myself about "what ifs" and why am I here, well my family was torn and the feeling of loss was over everyones head. There were times I went out and never knew if I would ever make it back. I had friends die and some injured beyond recongnition and some fight with adjusting just being back home. I felt disgusted with society myself and what I did in Iraq. Believe it or not, Aviana was a blessing to my life, under horrible circumstance, I wanted to care for someones elses life. Look back at what all this has made you as a person. I bet you would have never been tested to your fullist in life until now. Some make in life and some crash, I honestly cant believe you have been as strong as you have throughout this journey in your life. I can remember getting excited at the hospital when she moved a finger, and opened her eyes, hold strong and my offer to be with "my little angel" is always open, I know I have kept my distance but she is always on my mind> Dont forget to give Gary and your mom a hug from me.

  2. I have never posted, but have kept up with your journey for several months. Your strength has been astounding. Every time I read your post the air just goes out of me. I never know exactly what to say, but know that you and your family are always on my mind and in my prayers.

  3. Hi Jen,

    You have every right to feel disgusted and it is great that you are able to "let it all out" in a therapeutic way. That being said, logging on and learning that you are walking on the bright side of the road again made my day. You know, with your last post, I was going to comment that Sgt. Merenda's comments made me chuckle - but somehow it didn't seem right to write that. I was also going to add that he seems to be such a remarkable man. I never wound up saying any of that, but now that I read his comments today, I will. Sgt. Merenda, I don't know you, of course, but am a fan. Your compassion and everyday wisdom/ philosophy always causes me to think that even though there is so much wrong in this world, there is also so much that is good. (To be honest, you seem so good, and so insightful, that you almost seem otherworldly---but fortunately for all involved, you are here in the flesh!)

  4. I agree. You need those days where you're disgusted and sick by the situation. It may not seem like it's helping, but it is. You need to let it out and let yourself feel it in order to move on.

    Btw, Emma is convinced that if you can feed her green goo through the tube, she can have a tea party. Tea and scones in the blender! Yum! :)

  5. You ROCK Jen! I can't wait to see you Friday!



  6. Call me anytime Jen, will see you Friday night. Love ya cuz.

  7. I just re-read this blog post...mainly because I check a million times a day and there isn't a new one (yet)...but something made me chuckle...

    Slide of doom. ha poor thing! My gosh...I hope you never get on THAT again! But I know you will, because you're only human. So go right ahead...we're all waiting at the bottom to catch you (or at least try to soften the blow)!


  8. I'm glad that you are able to vent here...and that it helps you...
    Also glad that you have a partner willing to be your strength when you feel you have lost yours... That's a great thing to have a supportive partner....
    You are going to have bad days... and I'm sure that your good days are worse than many of our bad days... dont ever feel bad bout having a bad day... we all have them.... they seem to make the good days all that much better.
    Hope tomorrow is even better!

  9. The new blog layout is very nice and I think the title is so fitting. It is a road, a journey and though it is a frustrating journey and you didn't chose the road, I think you are an amazing mom, through thick and thin. I'm not sure I would make it through even one day in your shoes. Hang in there, Jen. Hugs.

  10. Isn't that such a nice thing about the blog that we can rage on the keyboard and leave it to sit in cyberspace. I love that. I am happy that you have a friend like Jen to sweep you away on a really bad day. The vision the person posted above about us all sitting at the bottom of the slide of doom to catch you reminded me of Lily sitting at the bottom of the incline floor arms spread wide ready to catch Avi when she reached the end. We all need a friend or many to catch us. Glad we could all be here to help when you need someone to sit on the bottom of your own incline floor.