Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Live and Learn

I started to write a series called Live and Learn, and then never continued on with it. Well, as I wrote a chapter for something else, I revisited all the things I have learned from this experience. I am still on the bridge and am still unsure of exactly how to cross, but I thought a refresher of what I wrote about the initial concept might just help me. I decided to continue on with the series and post it here too. 


The very last, and most important thing I have learned is to cross each bridge when I come to it. This is the single most valuable thing I have ever learned. I used to spend so much time dwelling in the ‘what if’ and not ‘what is.’ I truly always wanted to be that person, the one who was living in the present. I had read so many books, and watched more than my fair share of Oprah, but each time I tried, it never lasted long. I strived, but usually ended up empty handed.

I knew full well that much of what I was concerned about, never even came to fruition. Most times, my worrisome behavior resulted in the wasting of my precious energy.

Early on in counseling, I would act as a one-woman firing squad, “What if she never walks? What if this accident breaks up our entire family? What if we have to care for her for the rest of our lives? What if we never hear that sweet voice again? What if my mom and stepfather can never overcome this insurmountable loss? What if Aviana has zero quality of life? What if we both die on a plane, what will happen to Aviana? What if? What if? What if?” Looking back, I must say, I was quite annoying.

Our counselor told us to take one step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, and to cross all those various bridges when we come to them. I think I must have audibly laughed out loud at her. I had tried that so many times in past scenarios, and never once achieved that methodology.

You know what though, when you try it your own way, and let those thoughts run rampant, the end result is the same every single time. What is the definition of insanity? According to Albert Einstein it is, “doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.” Let’s just say, “I was insane.”

Being insane is exhausting, and can only last so long. My body developed its very own defense mechanism, and wouldn’t you know, I was actually crossing each bridge as I came to them. This is the single most powerful tool in my arsenal. I am by no means perfect at it, but I do my best, and that is all I can ever ask for myself.

Crossing these bridges when I come to them has been nothing short of freeing, and liberating. This belief is truly one of the most amazing of all. To be in the present, and not in the past, or future, what beauty that concept brings.       


  1. The 'what if's truly are an exhaustion .... So glad you found your way past them.

    Too often I find myself in e land of Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda......

    Stay tuned tho' I think I am THIS CLOSE....eBay ....maybe

  2. Exactly! So glad that you are in a better place with this way of thinking. It leads to peaceful and happier life.