Thursday, May 24, 2012

Almost Doesn't Count

My friend Jen and I met downtown for dinner Tuesday night. We had a good time, as we always do. After our three hour long meal, we made our way back to the car.

We approached a very busy street. We waited at the hashed crosswalk. As the cars were whizzing by, Jen asked me, "Does this make you nervous?" After I freed my face of some speeding car swept hair, I nonchalantly answered, "no, it doesn't" and we finally proceeded safely across the street.

We were talking to each other as we crossed; one, two, three lanes. As we entered the fourth lane of the street, we both turned, and a car appeared out of what seemed like nowhere. We both screamed like the girls I suppose we are. We thought for sure we were going to get hit. We didn't know whether to run back toward the street, or bolt for the curb. We both hesitated for a moment, but quickly realized there was not one second to spare, as the car was coming faster. It was as though he didn't even see us. We decided to run as fast as we could for the curb. We could actually feel the speed of the car as it passed us by.

Our hearts were in our mouths. All I could repeat was, "we almost got hit by a car. I can't believe we almost got hit by a car!" I also couldn't help but think of how casually I told my friend how I don't get nervous crossing the street. I honestly don't. I, of course always think about our situation, but I truly don't usually get nervous.

I instantly flashed to my Mom, Gary, Aviana and the woman who hit them. I have always felt it could happen to anyone. Many beg to differ, some outwardly, some on the inside. That honestly bothers me something fierce. My Mom and Gary swore they looked both ways before they crossed the street. They swore it was safe. They said it happened so fast. They would never have put themselves, and above all, Aviana, in harms way. I know that. I would bet my life on that. 

Jen has a husband, and two beautiful little boys, of which she would gladly lay her life down for. I have a boatload of real life experience with looking both ways before I cross the street. I know that life can turn on a dime. I am well versed in the lesson that in an instant, my whole entire life can be flipped on its top! I know that bad things don't just happen to others...they can happen to me, to us!

We used a cross walk that night. We looked very carefully before crossing that street. We continued to look as we were making our way across the street. The car appeared out of nowhere. We almost got hit by that car. It all happened so fast. We got lucky. So often we get lucky in life. Every so often we don't. It doesn't mean it can't happen.

12 comments:

  1. Jen -- Great post. I am glad you are safe and I am thankful for your reminder about how fragile and precious our lives are.

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  2. Your post is making me think about a lot. Especially how a little blip in time can potentially become many different things. Glad you are ok, Jen.

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  3. Wow, That's scary. So glad you're okay!

    And you're right about how people "beg to differ" as if it couldn't happen to them because they would have been more careful or done something different. I wonder if these people who say these things even know how hurtful their words are? I doubt it. Sometimes people, after hearing our story about Audriana's accident, will ask me, "Wasn't she in a car seat?" That comment always does two things to me: 1) infuriates me, and 2) stabs me right through the heart. But people don't know this and even if I explained it to them they still wouldn't "get it" and I always want to scream, "YES, she WAS! I was a good mom! I did what I was supposed to do! But it happened DESPITE my efforts! And I HATE that because I did what I was supposed to do! I followed the rules! And it happened anyway. And THAT'S SO DAMN UNFAIR!!" but I don't want to freak anyone out, so I just smile and say, "Yes, she was. She was 4 years old and in a car seat recommended for her size and weight. But there's not much a car seat can do for you when the other car crashes through the window and hits you in the head. I suppose I should have put her in a helmet that day. That would have helped. But you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20....."

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  4. Been missing your posts. I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, Aviana too. Now let's get your mom back on her feet. -Kate

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  5. I think when we question the details of someone's accident, we're generally wondering how we could avoid it, if it was us. If our friend did everything right, then what does that mean for us? Could it happen to us? I know I asked Jen about Avi's accident because the driver is about my age. What if that was me? What could I do better or differently so I never am the driver that hurts someone else. I'm much more nervous than I used to be about driving someone else's children. I'm a much more aware and cautious driver than I used to be. Now if some of the teenage drivers I see could do the same!

    Dixie

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  6. So crazy! I am so glad that you guys are fine. I hope that somehow this helps your mom and Gary feel a little more at peace knowing that you experienced firsthand what happened to them in a way. Even though you have assured them that they were totally not at fault and there was nothing that they could do. Now you have experienced a very similar situation and it may make a difference in their hearts to know that you really do know.

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  7. You have not posted in a while; praying you and Avi are doing great. You are an amazing mother!! Vicki from Memphis

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  8. Missing your blogging, PRAYERS coming your way,I hope everyone is ok,and you are just taking a little vacation away from the net :o)
    Cindy

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  9. Thinking of you and Aviana everyday. Miss you.
    Becky

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  10. Thinking of you guys! It's been a while since I saw you blog! Hope everything is okay!

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  11. I am getting worried. It has been almost 2 weeks since we've heard from you.

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  12. Praying all of you are well and just enjoying the summer together. My heart is heavy today for Avi and for two children in our community - a 15 year old boy with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and a 6 year old girl with brain/spinal cord cancer - both with a short time left. Lord, be with these two local families and with Avi and her family; praying for a special peace that passes all understanding for each of these. Jen, you are in our hearts and minds. Vicki from Memphis

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