Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My Girl

I miss her in the morning when I wake, and notice the bath mat perfectly in place.

I miss her when I am making breakfast, and she is not cleaning up everything I dropped.

I miss making, and feeding her her Kama Cakes (Kama sized pancakes.)

I miss her when I am working on the computer, and she is not under the desk at my feet.

I miss her being right by my side, helping me through therapy every day.

I miss seeing that knowing look in her every move when she was nearing Aviana.

I miss her when I see her bed, the one she has now shared with Rainey.

I miss how she filled every square inch of it.

I miss her with the passing of each beautiful picture.

I miss how she would climb up into my lap when the smoke detector would chirp.

I miss the way her ears looked as she ran down the side of the house.

I miss the way she would duck, weave, and bark while I was vacuuming.

I miss her long, beautiful legs.

I miss her when I see her collar hanging on my side of the headboard.

I miss her as I drive by the park, and picture her flying across the field after her ball.

I miss her head perched under my chair as I ate dinner.

I miss the smell of her stinky paws.

I miss her every time I see Zander.

I miss sweeping her fur off of the floor everyday.

I miss her every time I go in my bottom nightstand drawer, and see her ashes.

I miss her when I look above my bed, and see our "Master Bedroom" picture hanging.

I miss her in my sleep when I am continuously making sure she has enough room.

I miss her morning, noon, and night.

I miss her more than I could ever accurately express in words.

I love my girl with every bit of my being. I am being held tightly within the grips of grief. 

Every. 

Single. 

Day.







"Master Bedroom"

It was meant to be. We bought this picture when we moved into our house in 2001. We got Kama in December of 2002, as a 5 1/2 week old puppy. As she lay under my favorite picture, I could not believe the double image I was seeing!


Rainey ~ I thank my lucky stars for you. 

6 comments:

  1. My black lab Samantha's collar is still hanging on the mirror in our bedroom and her ashes are stored in our TV stand and it has been 10 years. But now we only have happiness when we talk about her. Like last night we talked about how she used to hide only her head under the bed during a thunderstorm because she thought she was all covered and safe. So sweet! It is still too early for you to not feel lost without her, but you will get there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I caught myself choking up the first night we watched my sister's dog. The three of us all caught ourselves calling their dog Hawkeye. I didn't realize until now that I really didn't have a chance to grieve with all the craziness that was going on. I want another, but I don't think I'm ready yet. It's okay to miss her. You loved that beautiful girl, and she'll always have a place in your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. awwww

    i know u miss her. she's always with you in your heart of heart

    i am there. i miss my roxie too

    ReplyDelete
  4. I KNOW how much you miss your girl Jen! She filled a place in your heart that no other can fill. Your heart will see her in places that she always occupied- that's OK- and yes- it is healthy to grieve for her. sending you ((HUGS))) sweetie- it will get easier - I promise!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awwww.... so sad to hear you are still missing your Kama so much. She will always hold a place in your heart. She was loved well. Her life was a good one thanks to all the love and care she got from her mama. I hope you find some comfort in knowing that.


    ((((hugs))))

    ReplyDelete