Sunday, January 24, 2010


Aviana had a certain sweetness about her. Right along side that sweetness, you would find the most polite little girl ever. She was adorable. It was obvious that she cared for you with every ounce of her little being.

As I look at her throughout the day, I sometimes can actually hear her little voice. This is what I am hearing today….

Every time I would hand her something she had asked for, she would say, “Canck you Mommy.” Which later evolved into, “Thank you Mommy.”

Whenever we told her bedtime was approaching and asked her to put her toys away, she would say, “No thank you Mommy!”

Whenever someone would sneeze, without a doubt, you would hear, "Bless you, Mama." or "Bless you, Nana." My all time favorite was, of course, "Bless you, Kama!"

When she woke up in the morning, she would greet the day with a big smile. She would walk out of her room and down the hall. This is the beautiful sound that followed, "Hi Kama, Good Morning." "Hi Zoe, Good Morning."

Whenever anyone was getting out of the shower and she heard the water stop, she would drop whatever it was she was doing and come running. I can actually see her rounding the corner at mach speeds now. Upon stepping out of the shower, you would be greeted by a pint sized beauty who had your towel in hand. She would so excitedly, yet calmly (as though she had been standing there the entire time) say, “Here you go Mommy!”

She was so cute and polite that when she sat at the table, she would take her napkin and put it on her lap. It was the cutest thing ever.

Remembering her is excruciatingly painful and sometimes I just want to forget.

Forgetting her is equally painful and sometimes I just want to remember.


  1. I am so sad for you. It is hard to find the words to try to help you. All I can say is that she was an amazing little girl and she always will be. That same sweetheart is right beside you and I pray that you will see some of those sweet qualities emerge as the days pass by. You will never forget the way things were, but as time goes by it has a way of helping soften the blow at least a little bit. Find a way to stay strong and be content with your life.

  2. Thank you Tracy. You are "spot on" with everything you wrote and although you found it hard to find the words, thank you for trying, as they turned out perfect!

  3. I can't imagine what you are going through. To embrace your daughter for who she is today, to love her for who she is and who she was, and to reflect upon the memories of her before and simultaneously create new memories with her now is heart breaking. It is, however, such a blessing. To think back to the first time I was made aware of your family's situation, and to think what could have been and what it is today is a miracle. Aviana is a miracle. A pint-sized miracle with a big heart!

    As a mom, reading your posts make me cry and make me appreciate every day with each of my children. I won't say I know what you're going through, because I can't possibly know or come close to understanding, but you do an incredible job of opening your heart to your blog readers, and when I know there were tears streaming down your face as you typed, there are tears in our eyes. When you write posts that are filled with both anger and humor, I'm worked up and getting a laugh all at the same time. Know that you may be in front of that computer by yourself, but you are surrounded my moms who do care, and are still praying for your healing. We've prayed for so long for Aviana, and He answered our prayers. Praying for her continued healing, and praying for yours as well. And no, you will never forget who Aviana was, nor who she has become. . .the pint-sized miracle with a big heart!