Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"Buck Me"

Not too long ago, an old memory completely washed over me. Some memories make me so sad, but this particular one, made me laugh out loud!

Aviana and I used to be regulars at the gym (we haven't been back since the morning of her accident.) I was all finished with my workout and she was done playing with all of her little friends in childcare. I opened the car door, picked her up and gently placed her in her car seat. At that moment, my cell phone rang in the front seat. I reached over and grabbed it. I talked to my mom for a couple of minutes.

In that time, I had climbed into the drivers seat and turned the car on. All of a sudden, I heard a panicked little voice in the background. "Buck me, Mommmmmmyyyy, buck me." I quickly got off the phone. I was so confused. I sure know what I thought she was saying. That couldn't be, so what the heck was she talking about? I quickly turned around and Aviana had the car seat straps in her tiny little hands. She was trying with all her might to make sense of those three black straps. All the while, still screaming, "Mommy, buck me, buck me!!"

I had obviously been so distracted that I had forgotten to buckle her in. She was desperatley trying to let me know in her cute little way with that cute little voice! I miss her so much and just wonder what she would be like today, tomorrow and every day after, for the rest of my life!


  1. Hi Jen,

    I am just taking a breather at work between tasks, checking in to see how things are going, and wanted to comment now, instead of waiting until tonight, so that you'd see it. I know looking at photos is not the same as being there, but I can say that at least to this outside viewer, Aviana looks, not only sweet- as always, but so much more engaged, with affect, in those pictures. How nice to see. I can only imagine what your sense of wonder must be like. Even without the unknowns you have, I know what it is like to wonder about the future of a child who was adopted when you feel you don't know all the history (what long lost relative might he or she resemble, act like, etc?) So your wonder on top of all that must be hard to get your mind around, I'd imagine. I thought of you the other day when I was reading a Philadelphia Magazine that had the "year in food" and restaurant offerings not to be missed. I'll tuck it away in case you are ever in the area again; I'll be better prepared on that front! Best wishes for continued progress. So glad to hear that you were able to get away for New Years.
    Ellen (from Philadelphia)

  2. what a cute story!!!!!!!
    I had to laugh though... as I have had a few of those moments where you are sure you hear one thing and it turns out to (thankfully) not be the case!

  3. The pictures of Avi are absolutely beautiful. Although I may not be there, she definitely looks like she has been making progress. Good luck and keep the faith.

  4. What a little angel. Now if it were me, she'd be saying something else, because me talks like a pirate, matey. ;)