Saturday, June 12, 2010


How am I supposed to sustain patience?

How am I supposed to maintain a positive attitude?

Today, there are brightly colored lightbulbs glaring in my face.

I try to look away,

but there they are again,

and again,

and again.

I can usually out run them,

but today,

they are having their way with me.


  1. I say you should have a GREAT BIG FAT HISSY FIT of massive proportions- let it all out girl- and if that fails eat some, wait, A LOT of chocolate!

    But seriously, if you want to take the mature approach ... you post it on your blog and wait for some well deserved virtual hugs and words of encouragement!

    I am so sorry that you feel that way today- hang in there - your cheering section will arrive soon and then you'll hopefully feel a little better.

  2. Just let it out when you feel it! Baby steps for you too! Remember you need to take care of yourself first before you can care for others. Hang in there. HUG!

  3. You don't have to try to out run your feelings. If you give into them, they will go away sooner. Feel bad, sad, hopeless and all of the other "bad" emotions and then you will be rid of them. They will have been released into the universe and your brain and body will then be ready to be filled again with HOPE, ENCOURAGEMENT, OPTIMISM, AND JOY! Hang in there, this wave will pass. You are doing great!

  4. LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.............?!

    take a hammer and smash all those bloomin' bulbs to smithereens!!!!

    you have to acknowledge & feel the emotions before you can banish them. trying to outrun them only sends them to the back of the line, where they will eventually move their way up to the front again (not saying that acknowledging & banishing them will send them away forever....cuz it won't! THEY are sneaky petes & often hijack good emotions and piggy back their way back in!!)

    i've been mia for a while. enjoyed catching up and hearing about the Institute. sounds like you had a very good experience there. i do love PA...but it's the humidity that keeps me away too....well and my cali family & friends :)

    <3 ~j

  5. I am all about what the gerlz above me said.

    Scream it. Yell it. Knock it out. That's what blogs are for. So you can TOTALLY vent here and we aren't there IRL to say cliche things like "Oh it'll be better tomorrow".

    Let's hear some more screamin' Jen. Without it, I would worry...!!!


  6. Your routine has changed with all of the new things you're doing from the Institute, more things to worry about and deal with...bringing back all of these raw feelings...

    You wouldn't be normal if you DIDN'T feel like this! I can't imagine walking in your shoes for even one day...but now that I think about it,if I got to chose that one day it would be the day Avi smiled for the first time or, even better, the day she gave you kisses :) So go be normal and let it all out and hold onto those breathtaking a-ha moments -

  7. Next time you're at the store, get a foam baseball bat. When you feel those feelings poking up, beat the hell out of them. Tell them you've had enough, and you aren't going to take them hanging around. Sounds ridiculous, but getting that frustration out helps.

  8. Holy smokes. While you all continue to adjust to your new normal, how could you NOT have days like this. You are a marvel, Jen, and you don't need me to tell you that. I liked what Andrea said, "Let's hear some more screaming, Jen. Without it… I (also) would worry!!!"