Wednesday, November 5, 2014

One Year

My mom and Gary decided to come up for the one year anniversary on the 26th. I'm glad they did. We had a nice day together. Tahoe brings out the best in them. They are calm, relaxed, and happy.

The month before, my mom didn't think she would want to come because she'd be crying and bringing us down. She also didn't think she wanted any part of burying the remaining ashes. I wanted her to understand she could cry whenever, and all she wanted. We wouldn't mind. As for the ashes, the choice was hers - she could stay in or go for a walk while we buried them. Most important, I thought it would be nice if we were together. 

As it turned out, she was in a great mood, and halfway through the day - it was her suggestion to bury the ashes. My mom loves a good nursery, so we drove to Tahoe Tree Company and bought some aspens. My mom found some pots for her own backyard as well. We came home and Dave and Gary began making holes for the three trees we'd purchased. While they were planting, my mom and I scoped the surrounding area for the best place for Kama & Aviana. We wanted somewhere pretty, someplace close to the house, but also where we could look out and see them from inside as well as the deck. 

The three of us stood as Dave dug and Rainey ran around the yard. Just as we were about to place the wooden box of ashes, Rainey broke the mood in the best way possible. Leave it to our girl! I think it may have been orchestrated from above! As Dave was covering the box with dirt, we all started crying. Gary, as he so often does, told the most beautiful stories of Aviana.

We placed them in the middle of a winding rock walkway, under this little pine tree.

I then stood two pinecones side-by-side against the tree. One for each of our girls. 

Once finished, we turned on the game and cooked a great dinner. My mom, the Giants number 1 fan, cheered them all the way. We completed the night with one of her favorite desserts.

The entire day was spent as normal when together - we talk, laugh, eat, tease my mom, and enjoy each other's company. It was a really nice day and into the next morning until they went back home.

I know this was especially hard for my mom, but I'm happy she came and faced what she didn't want to. I could tell deep down she knew it was good for her. I think as the day progressed, and the hesitation may have been looming still - something in her pushed through and knew it would somehow be for the better.  

Later that night Dave and I were talking about where we placed the ashes. I was describing all the reasons why I thought it was the perfect place. Dave said something which made it the ultimate...

"It's like each of the four surrounding trees represent your mom, Gary, you, and me. We're always there, watching our girls."

I thought it was beautiful! I had to add Rainey in as that pine tree you see between the two on the right though ; ) 

~ One year ~ 

We miss Aviana deeply, but are forever grateful for the time we had with her. 


  1. What an exquisitely breathtaking spot! It's perfect for your girls. Is the view from your deck? I'm so happy for all of you!

    1. Thank you Dixie. Yes, it's the view from our back deck. We can also see them from our kitchen window. Last weekend Dave's brother's family was visiting, and we were cleaning the kitchen. We caught a glimpse of our nice Zelbee knelt down by the tree by Aviana and Kama. She was talking and singing to her. This was one of the single most beautiful sights I have ever seen. I grabbed my phone and was able to capture the moment.

    2. Goosebumps. Beautiful.
      (from Doe Bay)

  2. I'm so happy that your Mom and Gary were able to be with you. I can't imagine a more pure and serene place for Avi & Kama. And the trees that Dave pointed out are so poetic. Love to you all!

    1. Thank you. I too am so happy they were here with us! I so love that they are here. Dave's brother and his family were up this past weekend and they spent even more time with and on Aviana and Kama's spot. The buried and placed heart rocks they found on the beach across the street and sat and talked to her. So nice.

      Love you!!

  3. What a lovely day and perfect spot for your girls, I just love all the surrounding pines as well, so fitting.

  4. So glad your mom and Gary were there for you. We were always thinking of your mom when the Giants won. My family loves your family so much, we can't imagine our lives had they not intersected with yours and Aviana was, and is, such an inspiring little soul. We thNk of her, and you, every day and you are never far from our thoughts. So happy you found the exact perfect spot for your girls.

    We love you all (Even though you are Giants fans, we won't hold it against you) and are always thinking of your family.

    1. I can't imagine either. I am going to soon write a post on something I was thinking of on my run the other day - it's something we talk about, but just a little bit more. It has to do with the intersecting. I am insanely grateful. I love you. All of you. I mean, yes, I love ll of YOU, but I meant - all of your family!

  5. I always have read but I just have no words to say. There are no words to express my sadness for all you have went thru, it's unimagineable, but I'm so happy for you both right now. I":m glad you are making decisions and life changes for your happiness. I don't know if this book would be interesting to you or not. I"m not a very religious person, but I was waiting the other day and someone had left it. Embraced by the light. Not something I might normally read but it really touched me and gave me a lot of hope for those I have lost, and peace. Take care.

    1. Thank you for always being here - from the beginning. No matter if you have words or not (and I understand it can be difficult) I just appreciate you being here : )

      I will have to look into the book! Thank you for the recommendation. Thank you for thinking of me - us.


  6. Couldn't have been more beautiful for your 2 Girls. So glad you, Dave, your mom & Gary had a nice day all together! Hope you are settling into your new home & routine in Tahoe. Know it has been a rough year to say it nicely. Hope you & Dave continue to find happiness in Tahoe!

    Hugs from Georgia!

    1. Thank you Denise! I can't explain how much we are loving Tahoe. I should write about it ; ) Our souls are at rest. Thank you for the kind, loving words you leave. I always appreciate them.

      Love to you!