Friday, July 26, 2013

So You Wanna Be a Cowgirl...

Aviana started Ride to Walk yesterday. She loved animals before, so I figured this was the best way to get  her out and closely involved with some awfully beautiful creatures! 








Doesn't her horse just take your breath away? 

His name is Ranger.




Ready to Ride




The paparazzi runs rampant in this place ; )









This one was so cute, I told her she could stay...

















Avkin... ❤








Oh the tears as they rode away...




They stretched her all out : )








Towards the end, she fell asleep. She did this when we started her in school too. They told us at The Institute, when brain injured kids get overstimulated they tend to shut down or tune out, but once they become comfortable, they will tune in. We notice Aviana's way of tuning out is to just fall asleep.

I'm sure as with school, after a few weeks, she'll stay awake the whole session : ) 




Out...







Sweetie Pie.

26 comments:

  1. Greetings from Phila. Love the braids. (And I feel like sitting up straighter at my computer as I look at the amazing posture of the woman riding with Avi.)
    -E.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So precious!! Bless her little heart & your family's too.
    Sweet horsey dreams, Aviana :o)
    Cindy from NC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Cindy! I too hope she had sweet horsey dreams...

      Delete
  3. How often will she ride? We have a horse therapy near us. Audriana rode for quite a few years. It's a great program! I hope that Aviana stays awake a bit longer at her next session :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi!

      She will ride every Thursday : ) I too hope she will stay awake longer. The woman gave Aviana quite a bit of extra time, and she didn't fall asleep until towards the end. It was super hot out there too!

      Delete
  4. Wow, I love all the pictures - thank God for the paparazzi!

    I am so excited to see her in the program. I used to be one of the side walkers and then towards the end, I was learning to be in the front, the lead. I love this program and have seen the results first hand.

    Looking forward to hearing more of Avkin and her magical horse Ranger stories :^)

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh...that doesn't surprise me, you are so amazing!!!!

      Love you!!!

      Delete
  5. I think that's a great program for Avianna. So glad you can do it for her. Bless the paparazzi, too! Wonderful photos.
    Nancy from the Midwest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Nancy! Yes, love those paparazzi : )

      Delete
  6. Wanted add to my comment, Jen. I believe I've told you about my friend who has a daughter with Downs...quite profound, nonverbal, though ambulatory. I know this is not your situation at all, but seeing Avi on the horse reminded me of how I feel about the awesome parenting my friends do...and I see you and Dave doing. My friends have their daughter "show" sheep at the 4H fair, as well as do some projects. Though H could not do this herself, her family helps her accomplish it. Her younger sister (or older brother in the past) does the actual holding of the sheep, while H walks and stands beside, shuffling her papers she always carries and mostly wanting to have her face right up on the sheep's face. It would be so much easier to just let her sit and shuffle repeatedly through her papers, while her sister shows her own sheep. But everyone in the family helps H be involved to the extent she can be. This year H's sheep won the class and needed to be called back to be shown for Grand Champion. Her sister was tired and frustrated that H wouldn't come back in the ring...she was in the sheep barn with her papers, undoubtedly snuggling someone else's sheep! But her sister went ahead and showed it for H. She also helped H again at the livestock auction, leading the sheep and H along as best she could...as H is not always the most cooperative. And though I know Avi's limits are more profound, when I see her in horse therapy, I have the same admiration for you and Dave that I do for my good friends. We all know it would be easier on you and Dave physically not to involve Avi in so much of daily life. I can't imagine how difficult it is to do some of the things you do with and for her. But that is what love is and what love does, and I think you are remarkable! I know, love is just what a parent does for their child. You could do no less, as your hope and belief in Avi, even though changed by the circumstance, will never give up on your little love. I hope this makes sense. The 4H fair is just over, and I again marveled at my amazing friend and her family. I suspect, as a mom, I would do the very same things...but I fear that I might be tempted to take the easier road. My friend has so much more energy than I do at my age! I pray Avi has many hours of peace on Ranger and friends! I can almost smell that "horsey" smell of that hoop building.
    Nancy in the Midest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nancy ~

      That is such a beautiful story. Your friends are so amazing. The people at Ride to Walk try to include the kids as much as possible and I too think that is GREAT : )

      Your comment, as always, was so sweet but also made me think about a possible blog post : )

      It's an interesting thing with Aviana, after we saw the writing on the wall after stopping her massive therapy program...we shifted our perspective. This may sound strange, but hope had lost its place. We have now come to expect nothing, rather than hope for anything. Which is actually a great way to live in all aspects. It makes for a much happier life : )

      To be honest, the only reason I put her in Ride to Walk was for her to have something enjoyable with animals, interaction with the outside world, and for them to be able to stretch her body out and keep her comfortable. All we want is to keep her as happy and comfortable as possible.

      After seeing how she responds to therapy, we understand that for us, it's not worth dragging her to and through it like we used to. After we learned of her barely responding, we decided for whatever days she has left on this earth, they were going to be doing things that we think might bring her happiness - like going to school (she receives therapy there), visiting with my Uncle, being with her Nana and Papa, going on vacations, and things like Ride to Walk. No more pushing for therapies where they don't want to give them to her, and also extra therapies that don't work. We had to accept that she was too hurt....which was really hard.

      I guess it's all about zoning in and then creating balance in your life. We were so off balance before. For all of Aviana's days she will know she was loved, and she will be comfortable. I will have peace in knowing that : )

      Sorry if this was all jumbled...

      Delete
  7. I love what Nancy wrote!!

    Your little cowgirl is so cute!!!! I love you both. And loved seeing the paps! Tell your mom hi from all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was crying as I was reading and looking at the pictures! AWESOME! I wanted to do horse therapy with my oldest and his dad wouldn't let me. Way to go getting her on there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much!!

      Oh that made me so sad to hear he wouldn't let you...I'm so sorry!

      Delete
  9. Oh Jen, it looks like such a beautiful experience!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jen, that makes perfect sense. And then I read your post today, and I can't imagine how hard it is to have to accept a place of no hope. Your love and decision to make Avi as happy and comfortable as she can be is the perfect decision, hard as that must surely be to make that ultimate goal. The only way I can even remotely relate to loving a child who can give little in return...except for being beautiful and sweet and every bit human as Avi is...is from our youngest daughter coming home from Guatemala at the age of 11yrs. She fought emotionally to keep me at a distance for quite a few years. She was angry, but mostly only at me. She made deliberate decisions to not include me in her life...except when it was a benefit to her. She let others into her life who had little or no connection to her...but not me. I just had to keep giving, knowing it was what was required of me/what I'd promised to do for her when I became her mom, in spite of what I received from her in return. In her case, there were occasional glimpses of hope, where she let down her guard or discovered needed something from me. It wasn't RAD, by any means, and it could have been much worse. Very few, if any, outside our immediate family knew the truth about what she was doing, how she was "playing" the situation to keep me at bay or to make me feel hurt. To the world, she was beautiful, quiet, and sweet. It was tough to keep on loving at times. I know it was an mental choice for me, not an emotional feeling. I know I didn't always handle things right. I let her get under my skin sometimes, let myself feel hurt (which I've discovered from reading was probably her goal...to help me feel some of her own pain of rejection/abandonment). I needed to remind myself why these things were true in her life at that point. It was pretty painful, and I often got impatient to see things change. In my case, I knew there was still room to hope. But, of course in our case, my daughter could learn to let me into her life, and she has. We still have our moments, but it's so much more a mother/daughter relationship than it has been in the past. All this, not to compare, but to try to say I can at least relate a tiny bit to all the giving, while receiving little in return to encourage us. Please don't think I am saying that I can totally understand what your life with Avi is like, because I haven't lived your tragedy. I am so very sorry that in Avi's case, you don't have the hope to hold onto. I'm sorry that you won't feel that encouragement that things are changing and improving. But, as you said so truthfully, for all of her life, Avi will be able to understand your love for her...in how you include her in life, how you care for her and make her happy and comfortable. I repeat myself, because I think surely I've told you before, I admire both you and Dave. And though you'd rather not be admired, but instead be able to live with more hope for Avi, you still are admired...by many, many people. I admire, not only what you do as a mom and dad for Avi, but for the difficult, wise, mature decisions you have been able to make under very trying/exhausting circumstances. I see you as people who have made very difficult choices...but choices that are important in order to make all of your lives as comfortable and happy as you can make them. And though I don't believe life for most people is about just making ourselves happy and comfortable, when people have difficulties such as you do in your family, I believe it's a very wise choice. I know that you and Dave also do things for others outside your family, so you are far ahead some of the rest of us who sometimes aren't as generous with our time and energy. I am thankful I found your blog, somehow, somewhere. I can learn from you and more importantly, I can pray for continued strength and encouragement for you and your family, as you keep on.
    Nancy in the Midwest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Nancy ~ I love your wordy comments!!

      Oh Nancy. Yes, I can see, as you do, a parallel line of our giving in the name of love and being a mom, but not receiving from. I feel so deeply for you, as I'm sure you do for me.

      I think you have been reading long enough to know I struggled with bonding with Aviana when she came home, but not the other way around. As I was reading your words though, I do remember when we had company, she would treat us like chopped liver. She would have the biggest attitude toward both of us, and if we asked her to come over to us, or tried to pick her up and hold her...she would turn her head to the side, give us a snotty, almost devious look and walk or run away into one of the guest's arms. The look on her face was of, "I don't need either of you, nor will I ever...see ya!" It was very hurtful, and sometimes it flat out made me angry because I was already not bonding with her.

      I know this was all so small on the realm of what you were explaining, but I was just trying to grasp a glimpse of what that must feel like for you, but I can't. I can't! I can't! I'm so sorry for all you described, and all of the hurt your heart has had to hold.

      What I can relate to is not always handling things right as well. I have written about this early on in my blog as well. I can so relate to all you wrote, but for different reasons in the beginning with Aviana. When I was at my boiling point I would usually ask my mom if Aviana could go spend some days with her. But still, I didn't handle things well at times when she was here, and I always felt so bad about those times. But...my gosh, even though, we do the best we can with the life situations we have, don't we? We are not perfect.

      My gosh, I so admire you for all you have been through and continue to...you have no idea Nancy. I am saying this from deep down, because with my teeny, tiny, reversal glimpse...my hat's off to you.

      We all have a different story/tragedy to tell don't we? I think we are somehow all, in someway, do I dare say...equip to live our own story/tragedy. Even if we can't see it at the time and it feels like hell going through. Maybe in the grand scheme? At least I like to think so : ) At least that's what I keep telling myself ; )

      Thank you so much for everything you wrote. As always, you are too kind!! In regard to Aviana though, with very few words on my part, it's like seeing eye to eye and you understand exactly where we are with her. I will never be able to tell you how much I appreciate you.

      Delete
  11. ok...sorry for my wordy comments! Love to you and your precious family.
    N in the MW

    ReplyDelete
  12. Aviana looks so beautiful on her pony!! If only it was a unicorn!! You are the perfect mommy for Aviana... if only she could tell you that herself, it would be with chubby little arms wrapped around your neck!

    I love the therapy that hippotherapy provides!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww...thank you so much!! I too, wish... ❤

      A unicorn...wouldn't that be nice : )

      Delete
  13. Look at that baby ride! What a sweetheart! I am sure she is SO happy up there on that horse, and maybe just a little nervous, you know performing the circus stunts off the side and all. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment made me LAUGH...yep, her circus stunts!! You should have seen her yesterday, they had her doing so many...she was MAD through the whole session!! Stink eye...pretty much the whole time >: |

      Delete
  14. YAY! this is what I had hoped you would do. Of course I had no idea how intense her therapy was until you did those video's just to give us a little glimpse of some of the stuff you were doing. I thought for along time I would open up a therapuetic riding center. I enjoyed volunteering when I was in college ( a long time ago). I'm sure she enjoyed it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! That's great that you volunteered : ) The horses are so beautiful!!

      Delete
  15. I am SO happy to see Avi at Ride To Walk. Dr. Corn is an amazing PT and Avi is, no doubt, in good hands. I think of you all often and the receptionists still ask about her.

    ReplyDelete