Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Sayonara

Three months ago, I lost my best friend. Ever since, my world has slowly crumbled around me. These have proved to be the worst, most trying, three months of my entire life. I have experienced sadness like never before. I have repeatedly tried to pull myself from the depths of despair, only to be knocked down again.

A different kind of person slowly emerged, and before I knew it, had taken over. This new person was unable to focus on all the beautiful blessings in life, and repeatedly visited only the negative aspects. This only served to create a narrow, sliver out of such a vast, wide world.

I didn't like my uninvited guest, so yesterday, I kindly asked her to leave.  I softly explained that I had to put an end to this life we had created together. She quickly objected, but I reiterated that I could no longer be part of the constant feed of negative energy. She did not understand how exhausting it was, and how all I was left with was an empty, hollow feeling.

I gently told her that this was no way to live, and how we had been carrying on, was no way to be. I reminded her that life is much too short, and as we both knew, it could all be gone in an instant.

As she slowly gathered her belongings, I helped to make sure she didn't leave anything behind. Deep down, we both knew she would never be back.

I decided to further explain that being happy is after all, just a choice, or a series of choices. I made it clear that from here on out, I was choosing to look at the positive. I was choosing to be happy. I was choosing to, once again, look at the positive, and to focus on all of the beautiful blessings in my life.

She shook her empty little head in disbelief.  Poor thing, she just couldn't wrap her negative mind around what I was trying to explain. We agreed to disagree, and said our final goodbyes.

Tonight, three months after one of the worst days of my life, I will pull my hubby, and my girls close, and be grateful for what I do have :o)

14 comments:

  1. :). Yay!!! I can't imagine in the slightest... but so happy to read that she's outta there!

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  2. Amen sister! I bet you're glad to see her go! I know it was a hard few months but here you are, kicking that girl to the curb!

    (BTW, I thought you were leaving to Mexico already, hence the title of the post!)

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  3. I knew that she would have to come and stay with you for a while but I am glad to hear that you kicked her out! Now I want to see more posts with you dancing on a coffee table or sipping some exotic beverage on a beach!!!

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  4. You're amazing and pretty inspirational!

    Dixie

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  5. I'm so proud of you!!!! That is not easy to do when life keeps getting you down, but you are right we can choose to find joy despite our circumstances. I remember reaching that point with Blake and it was the most freeing, beautiful moment for me. Like you, I chose to see Blake as a blessing just as he was. I'm excited to see what great things are in store for you.

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  6. *hugs* You are so right - dance in that rain, Jen!

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  7. Best post! It is a relief to hear the words from you. I knew that you would get to this point. It is a definite mind set that is really hard to accomplish, let alone stay with. If/when thoughts start spiraling out of control again, stop yourself before the snowball starts. In the moment say out loud, "Stop it!" The key is to stop the first negative thought. It may take 20 stop its in a row and people may look at you funny, but it works. I got that handy tool from a book, so it isn't just my advice, it is professional. LOL. Hang in there! I am so glad that you are feeling positive-Woohoo!

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  8. So glad you made it to this point. Its takes time, but glad you are there. adios to her

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  9. I have been reading your posts for a long time now and you certainly deserve some positive energy in your life. The decision and the act of removing it can be so draining but fortunately so liberating. Only good Mojo.
    Katrina

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  10. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I just want to say that you are such an inspiration of hope to people. While you have gone through the unimaginable reading your blog give people hope. Thank you!!

    Kathy

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  11. I love this post. I have my own challenges and I find that same girl taking over my life. Thank you for putting it out there for me to realize as well. Every day is a new day and a better day, we hope!

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  12. YAY, Jen!! So proud of you for kicking negativiy's butt to the door! There is POWER in postive thinking! I think you've found it!

    GO JEN!! Please give Avi a hug for me!! Miss you guys!

    JS

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  13. Sorry its been so long since I've said anything but I want to apologize to you especially, I'm sorry your going through these hard times and struggles, ill make it a point to come visit. Keep your head up.

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