Thursday, May 6, 2010


My list of "can't do's" has slowly, but surely been whittled down to just a few.  If my calculations are correct, I think I only have one thing left to do.

I went back to the gym this week.  This was one of the most difficult bridges for me to cross.  I have circled the gym on a few occasions. I have even gone so far as to pull into a parking space, but caved at the last minute, as I felt my world closing in tightly around me.

On Tuesday, I woke up and pushed through with amazing force. My account had been frozen in time, much like everything else surrounding that day.  I called beforehand and asked if they could please "thaw it out" and have it good and ready by the time I got there :o)

My favorite class was on Tuesday's and Thursday's. Often times I thought that if I ever happen to cross the gym threshold again, it would be at times I had never gone before. Hopefully surrounded in people I didn't know.

As it turns out, there is no place I would rather have been than the class I used to go to before, surrounded in some of the people I used to know!

Tuesday was great. I breezed past the Preschool room, flew right by the door that leads to the childcare room and was safely inside my class. No tears. Not really any lingering memories.  I had a great workout, saw some old friends and was back in my car, unscathed.

I naively believed I was over the worst of it.

I was wrong.

Today was much worse....


  1. I am sorry that today was harder. I hope that it becomes easier with time as I know how much you love that place. I am so proud of Aviana. My heart swelled with pride when I heard of her movement in her bed. I know you've been waiting for this. It sounds like the two of you are metomorphisizing again. Love you Sarah

  2. Uh, oh!! I know you'll share about today when you're ready. In the meantime, I am SOOO happy that you jumped over one more hurdle!

  3. i know it seems like one step forward......two steps back.

    don't fret my are doing a GREAT JOB of getting yourself 'out there'

    we are here for you.....just as you (in case you didn't know it) are here for us. i can't go to bed at night until i've checked in and seen what's transpired during your day.....what have we accomplished...what milestones have we made.

    thank you for inviting us (all) on this journey! i wouldn't have missed it for the world!

    (one tiny accomplishment from my day to share -- tonight 'my luke' spelled his last name on the computer!! i was so impressed & lucky to be at their house when he did it!! ....tiny mt everest everywhere you look!!!)

  4. sorry your day didn't go well....But my gosh look at you! You went back to the gym! woo hoo! What an accomplishment girly! Your fans are soooo proud of you!..PLUS all the Avi accomplished as well...Ya'll are just moving right along..Go Avi! Go Jen! Go Dave!

  5. It's Okay, that is to be expected Jen. Of course it is a process and you took a huge step in even going in. Keep pushing through your walls! It is a great accomplishment and so much needed no matter how hard it is. You are so great Jen!

  6. Those 'firsts' are always tough. If I see you, I'll make sure to give you a big hug.