Saturday, April 21, 2018


Written: 2011

Do you think she'll ever talk? Walk? Smile? What do you think her future will look like? What will happen to Aviana if you and Dave die before her?

People wonder. It's natural to ask questions.

In the beginning, I'd tumble night after night down the same dark and desperate rabbit hole. With Maggy's help, I learned to push these thoughts to "if" they happen. I try and do the same with any questions.

The exception is Aviana outliving us. Legally and logistically, our plans are in place, but the thought terrifies me. In those moments, Maggy's face and voice find and dry my eyes. Instead, I concentrate on my coffee, making the next sound for Aviana, or Rainey resting on her paw. Anything, but what may never happen.

In my former life, I planned and worried, as if they were hobbies. Through trial and error, Maggy, and a ton of practice, I plan and worry only if necessary, then live.

Life, people, and priorities shift, so my time and energy are better spent on who and what's in front of me.

As it turns out, this way of living is so much better for me. Who would've thought; definitely not me!

It's interesting, what started out of survival is how I live today. The issues are now smaller, but the skill set's in place.

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