Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dear Brain Injury-

You descended down and wrapped your slithery, slimy, disgusting hands around a beautiful, innocent, precious girl. You stopped her in her tracks. This lovely girl was so full of life in her purple checkerboard shorts, white tank top, and brand new sandals. These recently purchased white summer sandals were ready to embark on an entire season of good times and great memories.

You were bound and determined to suck as much life out of this beautiful child as possible. You left her lying there, lifeless. You weaved your nasty, disgraceful self throughout her brain and left her. How on earth can you leave a child without the ability to walk?

They walk, they jump, they dance, they skip, they twirl in circles for god’s sake, they fly around without a care in the world. Congratulations, you were the one who single handedly snatched that away. That wasn’t enough for you, you ripped away her ability to make all of those cute, sweet words and sentences. Was that your goal? For us to never hear any of those wonderful sounds again? For us to never hear her laugh out loud ever again?

Our little girl’s favorite thing on earth was to eat. Anything and everything. Was that what you were really after? Her favorite thing? Were you not sure which it was, so you decided to take them all? You piece of shit! You left her with only one choice for the entire day. And she can’t even taste that. You are such a greedy bastard, you did not stop there. You wanted it all. How can you live with the fact that you even erased the beautiful smile from her face? You removed the sweet expressions which made the world around her light up.

How do you feel about yourself? How can you live with yourself? Are you proud of yourself for stripping away every single basic characteristic that defines a human beings quality of life?

You have tried to go beyond her brain; you have tried in every way to infiltrate everyone around her. You have tried to destroy a beautiful family full of good hearted people. You have tried in vain to shake them to their very core, to make them crack into a million little pieces.

I have one thing to say to you, YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED. WE will succeed. WE will come out on top. WE will be the ones standing in the end. You, you heartless bastard will be more of a distant memory with each passing day. You picked the wrong family! You did not take into account how strong we all are. You forgot to factor in the fiery spirit which burns bright within each of us.

You sicken me,

Jen

11 comments:

  1. Just wanted to let you know that I've been following your blog for a while. It's ok to have days like this. It's good to let it all out so you can concertrate on your little girl. I think and pray for her daily..

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  2. I can't even imagine losing so many "parts" of your child, so many simple, every day moments. I'm so sorry any family ever has to live with the results of such trauma to a brain and to a family's emotions. I check your blog regularly. I pray that Aviana's recovery is full, for patience and strength for you and your husband, as you meet your daughter's needs. I also pray that you get lots of support, both for the physical and emotional aspects of dealing with brain injury.
    Nancy

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  3. I totally agree! I love this fight in you! I love this - you keep it up!

    Peace and Hugs,
    Becca

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  4. Thats right!!!! you tell it how it is,and fight becasue you are right this is crap and she doesn't deserve this. Way to go for telling it off.

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  5. Keep at it and DON'T GIVE UP!!!!! Ever Show the eff'in bastard he fucked with the wrong people this time!!!!!! Hugs to you Jen I am praying for you all!

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  6. Still here reading along and thinking of you and praying for Avianna. It's ok to be mad and I am mad too. NEVER GIVE UP!!! I'm sorry that I didn't get to ever meet you or Avianna before but I hope to have the chance to meet both of you someday. I know Sarah and Lily love Avianna so much. Sending big cyber hugs.
    D

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  7. Another song for when you feel like a little music therapy.

    Stand - Rascal Flatts

    You feel like a candle in a hurricane
    Just like a picture with a broken frame
    Alone and helpless
    Like you've lost your fight
    But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

    Cause when push comes to shove
    You taste what you're made of
    You might bend, till you break
    Cause its all you can take
    On your knees you look up
    Decide you've had enough
    You get mad, you get strong
    Wipe your hands shake it off
    Then you Stand, Then you stand
    Life's like a novel
    With the end ripped out
    The edge of a canyon
    With only one way down
    Take what you're given before its gone
    Start holding on, keep holding on

    Every time you get up
    And get back in the race
    One more small piece of you
    Starts to fall into place
    Oh

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  8. Oh man, do I know how you feel. You describe it so perfectly.

    Hang in there. It does get easier, as time passes, as she improves.

    Thinking and praying for you all....

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  9. I would like to add Dear Mr Brain Injury, That you stole my little girls BFF. Was it your goal to have a three year tell her mommy in the car that she misses when her friend Avi could walk and play and say mommy Avi is still my best friend. Mr. Brain Injury you suck!!!!! Jen Dave and Avi we love you!!!! Keep fighting and know we continue to cheer you on on the sidelines.

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  10. Mr. Brain Injury needs to be a punching bag because I'd like to release a few frustrations on him.

    Jen - I felt so inadequate whenever I try to write to you. Just know that I am always thinking of you and Avi and I'm sending all the positive energy I can muster.

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  11. I am with Sarah. There is nothing like your three year old begging to take her to the hospital to see her friend. It is heart breaking when she asks if Avi is ready to play tea party again. Screw you, Mr. Brain Injury!

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