Friday, October 3, 2014

August 16

Dave started his new job in Tahoe a month before we were to move into our new house. Although he was living with my dad, he was in many ways into our new life. I was in our old - packing box after box - tying loose ends. With the exception of one, he came home on the weekends to power pack.

We knew we wanted to cremate Aviana and place her in Lake Tahoe, but in light of how everything happened last October - we felt our girls should continue on together.

For us, there's no other place than Tahoe for our final resting place. We thought we'd be able to visit my dad and stare off over them during our many visits. We figured sometime in the future, we'd find ourselves living there as well - closer to Kama and Aviana. Little did we know, bigger and better plans were already in the cosmic works for us.

My heart would quadruple in size when the everyday thought would descend of surrounding this beautiful body of fresh water in which our girls would so lovingly be forever placed.

Aviana's birthday always seemed the perfect day to combine their ashes and release them. Many months ago our plan was to make a bigger day of it, but as the date neared, we decided differently.

As everything was winding down with our old house, Dave looked my way and said, "Hon, Aviana's birthday is coming, we need to decide what we're going to do?" I said, "I know. . . I know. . . "

I put a lot of thought into her day, and came back to Dave. Every birthday since the accident had been without a doubt one the most difficult days of the year for me. This year was different. I felt peace. Resolve. Comfort. And. . . calm. I wanted these very same feelings to continue throughout her day. As we placed our girls into the lake, I was hoping for happiness, love, and light. I didn't want for the day to be emotionally charged, and logistically chaotic. More than anything, I wanted ease. Dave completely agreed.

On a late night drive into the mountains and with our three girls, I drove up to Tahoe the night before.

The next morning, Dave and I needed to combine their ashes, but where?

I looked around and it became simple. The best place to make two one was under a tree and next to one of my very favorite dogs growing up,

which was also right next to. . .

My uncle soon arrived and we were on our way. 

Just the three of us!

It was the most perfect day on the lake that day.  


I have so many beautiful pictures to share, so I'd like to separate this post out in order to give it the time and attention it so deserves. 


  1. So, so beautiful. What a perfect birthday gift. Thanks for sharing your journey, Jen; it is so moving.

    1. Thank you Chelsy. I agree with you, the perfect birthday gift : )

  2. I can't imagine. I can't imagine.

  3. Sooo many things run through my head reading your last 2 posts. To honor your last post "Random", my thoughts will be just the same.:)

    Thank you for sharing your journey, as always. I can only hope that Avi and Kama's joining place was "meant to be". I am glad that you felt it was time, and you were content with the big decision. It looked beautiful.

    As for "random" from your previous post, here goes….1. I drive near your old house 4xweek due to soccer practice at Dugan Park. 2. I haven't seen you in forever, but I miss you! 3. I am always amazed when I'm in Tahoe because forget how people from ALL. OVER. THE. WORLD. travel to see that place! 4. Casey was asked by UCDMC to be a team ambassador to the Aggies football team at their homecoming game next weekend. The Children's Hospital and College want to make a closer connection. Meaning, they want the kids going to keggers to know that they can grow up to be the docs at the hospital :)

    1. Thank you Gina. Yes, it was definitely meant to be : )

      I so miss you too. I believe you all need to plan a trip for Summer's birthday and this'll have to stay with ME! I too think what you say about people coming from all over the world to see Tahoe and I sure don't blame them because it's the best place I've ever seen in all my travels : )

      I smiled the HUGEST smile as I read about CASEY!! I will be thinking about all of you next weekend! I can't imagine how you will all be beaming with love, admiration and HAPPINESS. Overflowith, overfloweth, (I don't know which is right teach ; ) I know he will have the impact they are wishing for! I know it!!!