tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post9108771263403609806..comments2024-03-20T00:18:15.489-07:00Comments on The Long and Winding Road: Both Sides NowJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-44846737960489800702013-04-24T18:22:54.537-07:002013-04-24T18:22:54.537-07:00Love you!!!Love you!!!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-65913881210274211212013-04-24T18:22:40.815-07:002013-04-24T18:22:40.815-07:00Thank you Dixie...I always love when I can talk to...Thank you Dixie...I always love when I can talk to you about all of this. You really help me to sort through, and get it all out. Thank you for being my sound board...Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-86770151036283644612013-04-24T18:20:56.100-07:002013-04-24T18:20:56.100-07:00I wish I knew you in real life Nancy. I know I wou...I wish I knew you in real life Nancy. I know I would just love you. I know you have one of the kindest, gentlest souls. So many people look right past Aviana, or right through her...like she is nonexistent, a wallflower. I know it is not with any ill will, but out of forgetfulness or discomfort. Sadly, I often refer to her in my mind, and to close family and friends as The Invisible Child. I can tell that you have the great gift of SEEING people, all people. <br /><br />I hope you know I have always appreciated you. Thank you so very much for everything you say. I will never be able to really express how much your words mean to me...ever.<br /><br />❤ <br /><br />❤<br /><br />❤ Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-518255230974748762013-04-24T18:13:03.193-07:002013-04-24T18:13:03.193-07:00I love your comments Donna. I just do. You are rig...I love your comments Donna. I just do. You are right. An ever changing process. Good, bad and a lot of times just plain ugly. I agree with you when you say to lean in and just accept the ebb and flow of the grief journey. I too have learned it is so much easier that way. I used to fight it and boy does that not work, because it slaps you back...at least twice as hard!! Grief!! How dare you ; ) <br /><br />Thank you so much for being here. I learn so much from you, and always look forward to what you have to say!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-44072591319461366512013-04-24T18:07:59.596-07:002013-04-24T18:07:59.596-07:00My mom and I both love what you wrote...so much!! ...My mom and I both love what you wrote...so much!! So true! <br /><br />I completely understand what you are saying about your family photos. How can you ever REPLACE them, that would seem like you are erasing Sissy, and that would HURT too badly. It seems as though maybe you might someday be able to add some? I feel terrible in saying that, but just as a suggestion, but never replacing. <br /><br />Yes!! As you know so well....you just DO!! We - you and me - we just DO : )<br /><br />I would so love to hear Trina say, "I love you all!" For some reason I picture it Will Ferrell-ish? I LOVE YOU ALL! HA HA. With a glass raised. I LOVE YOU ALL. And then quieter with the glass down, head kind of down...I love you all....<br /><br />I love you. Thank you for all the sweet-ass compliments. Now get your butt out here and I will buy you all the In-N-Out you want : )Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-90749566849336913452013-04-22T09:13:00.035-07:002013-04-22T09:13:00.035-07:00This dichotomy is something I've thought about...This dichotomy is something I've thought about since I met you. I think about it ...a...LOT! I think you manage your feelings far better than I would and because of this, you're an example to me and I'm sure a lot of other readers.<br /><br />I'm so glad I know you, but I think if this accident had never happened, I wouldn't. I wish I had known the old Avci, but I love this Avi beyond my ability to articulate. I just love you guys!<br /><br />XOXO<br />DixieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-23970259904341748512013-04-19T14:33:28.113-07:002013-04-19T14:33:28.113-07:00I really enjoyed looking at your pictures. You di...I really enjoyed looking at your pictures. You did a great job! Love you!Channenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-3799177792547398392013-04-18T11:17:56.985-07:002013-04-18T11:17:56.985-07:00Thanks for trying to help us understand. What you...Thanks for trying to help us understand. What you write makes perfect sense, Jen. I too think you and Dave do an amazing job of balancing between the "old and the new". Your story is tragic...and yet triumphant, as you honor the person Aviana is now through your words and actions. She is still very much a person to be respected, loved, honored, and valued. I've always known that to be true about any human life. But reading your blog has really put a face to that fact. I'm sure you never dreamed nor wished yourselves to become a testimony to the value of every human life. But your family, your Aviana speaks that truth beautifully and courageously.<br />Nancy in the MidwestAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-4470501879161526862013-04-17T09:55:50.076-07:002013-04-17T09:55:50.076-07:00Grief, the great equalizer. It is no respecter of ...Grief, the great equalizer. It is no respecter of persons. Rich,poor, educated or a struggling third wold country, we all will experience it sometime in our life. Some much more than others. I don't even try to understand or figure out why or who has more than seems humanly possible. This is what I know to be true in my life. God is there he is aware and he will and does send angels to comfort . Grief for me is an ever changing process. Good, bad and a lot of times just plain ugly. It is amazing how much patience grief has taught me, with myself and most especially with the world around me. I'm learning to lean in, accepting the ebb and flow of the grief journey. How we live our journey is what defines us. At the end of our mortal lives begins our eternal journey. Life is hard, so so hard but it is also good, so so good. Worth it all, ABSOLUTLEY!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06478138755727691176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-43791419079398665522013-04-16T20:14:59.411-07:002013-04-16T20:14:59.411-07:00I just wrote something about being "okay.&quo...I just wrote something about being "okay." <br /><br />I struggle with putting up any pictures of The old Christian. I almost feel like it disrespects what "is" and the Christian that is here with us now. I know that is sort of irrational but I used to feel like I wasn't properly accepting C. <br /><br />I love that song, "Beauty in the Breakdown." One if my early grieving songs.Shauna Quinterohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08192621405848386669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-40608143783999516182013-04-16T20:07:21.477-07:002013-04-16T20:07:21.477-07:00Frequency, intensity and duration. That's how ...Frequency, intensity and duration. That's how my therapist describes grief and learning to live with it. There's no "getting through" it, it is always there and time does NOT heal but hopefully in time the frequency of the head on collisions with grief will lessen, the intensity of how strong they are will lessen and the duration of how long it lasts will lessen. Well, that's what he SAYS anyway :) I do believe it is true to some extent. <br /><br />Frequency<br />Intensity<br />Duration<br /><br />Family pictures. Ugh!!!! I've realize the same thing. The only photos I change and update are the kids' school pictures, all the rest of them (and I have a lot) are frozen in time. The kids don't age, holidays don't progress and sissy is still in them. I just can't bring myself to put up a new "family photo" that doesn't include her. I've wondered if I will ever update them or if my family photos will somehow become covered in emotional cobwebs, unable to move forward, photographic proof of what our lives were BEFORE and never showcasing the AFTER. <br /><br />I don't know. If there does come a time for that I'm sure as hell not there yet. <br /><br />I can't begin to imagine how you live with the back and forth.I can't imagine how you do it. <br /><br />Other than you just DO. <br /><br />You are the strongest family I know. You are the kindest family I know. You are the smart assed family I know :) I love you all! (That was something Trina would say after she drank too much, "I love all of you!" so I think of her whenever I say some sort of version of it.)<br /><br />I love you. <br /><br />Plan a road trip up this way. <br /><br />No, wait, I'm craving In-N-Out, mom and I will do a roadtrip to you, haha. Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04815107970059019435noreply@blogger.com