tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post8854190668757851203..comments2024-03-20T00:18:15.489-07:00Comments on The Long and Winding Road: A Beautiful LifeJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-71755174514629106842014-07-05T10:50:13.328-07:002014-07-05T10:50:13.328-07:00It's the strangest thing Trina. You are the on...It's the strangest thing Trina. You are the only person whose comments I don't receive. My mom had to tell me about your comment?! She said, "I agree with Trina. She's right." I had no idea what she was talking about : / She told me I better go back in and read!<br /><br />I completely agree too. There were many times when I thought - if she could just this____ I would be fine and great! But in the back of my head, I always wondered if it would ever truly be enough? There's always that shadow, that mirror image. The one we knew. And yes, I didn't ask for enough either...not at all. I wonder why that is? I suppose it's natural. I suppose we are in survival mode, and at that dire point - just begging for something, anything. Trying not to be greedy. I guess that's the time to be greedy. The time to get it all. It's not my personality. It's not my make up. I see people do it, ask for it all. I get squeamish. I should have as well. <br /><br />But you know...if I really think about it, I don't believe it would have made a difference. I just think what was going to be, was going to be - no matter what I asked for. But who really knows. I sure don't. <br /><br />And you know you can always say whatever you want on this blog. It's not petty, and what you say will never be seen or felt as how dare you. I always want to hear all you have to say and feel. I'm sure I may feel the same. Who knows. But I love to hear what others feel and are going through.<br /><br />Love you and that family of yours!! Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-30044411650762794572014-07-05T10:37:05.393-07:002014-07-05T10:37:05.393-07:00Wow Channe, thank you so very much! I so appreciat...Wow Channe, thank you so very much! I so appreciate everything you said.<br /><br />I wonder if you realize just how much you are working through your 'stuff' By acknowledging - to yourself, publicly in a comments section, and now especially on your blog too - you ARE working through everything, not hoping to! No matter how small, we are moving in a forward motion. I too am trying to carve out and fill the entire space where Aviana previously was. It's not easy, and can feel overwhelming at times, but I too go easy on and remind myself that I am moving in a positive direction even when it doesn't feel that way sometimes. Sometimes I feel stagnant as far as that goes. <br /><br />We are girl. We are! <br /><br />I admire you so very much Channe!<br /><br />I too have been off the grid...literally. I have been battling computer issues since May 31st. and still am. Hours and hours of this and that. I can finally see the finish line and can't wait to catch up.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-40371386182702681852014-07-05T10:30:05.013-07:002014-07-05T10:30:05.013-07:00Thank you Cameo! I too don't like the word luc...Thank you Cameo! I too don't like the word lucky, but never know what to put in it's place...thanks to you, now I do : ) <br /><br />I am fortunate to have all of you in my life. So very fortunate. <br /><br />Oh honey, the computer saga. It continues and in the craziest way possible. I should send you a picture from Thursday. I asked AppleCare if there is a prize for the person who logs the most hours with them...because that would be ME! I have been MIA, down and out, disconnected for mostly that reason, but also a few others, Google, baking, cooking to calm the computer tech mind down and some other possibly exciting stuff I'll have to fill you in on : )<br /><br />I miss my Cams!!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02455367671890571478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-43866684390533253592014-06-23T08:10:55.189-07:002014-06-23T08:10:55.189-07:00Such a beautifully written and heartfelt post.
X...Such a beautifully written and heartfelt post. <br />XOXO<br />DixieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-14117549766386562802014-06-20T02:23:27.788-07:002014-06-20T02:23:27.788-07:00I had that same discussion with God during the fir...I had that same discussion with God during the first few days after Audriana's accident. Not knowing if she'd survive or not, I asked God to please not leave her here with us if she was only in a vegetative state, not able to move or do things for herself. I remember telling God that if she were unable to walk, I could deal with a wheelchair. If she were unable to talk, I could deal with sign language. But I had to have "her" still be with us. I needed her to be able to smile, to laugh, to do some things for herself, to be able to communicate with us. I asked for these things, and that is what I got. And I am thankful for that. So grateful. But you know what's crazy is that sometimes I wish I would have asked God for more; to make sure both arms work, and both eyes work, and both legs work, and that she doesn't suffer any learning disabilities....I mean, I wish I had aimed higher with my prayers, you know? Because she struggles with so much, and it's painful as a mother to see this. Maybe I should have asked for a FULL recovery. You know, I never ever asked for a full recovery. It's almost like I didn't dare be "greedy" with my prayers. Sometimes when I watch her struggle with something, or I see that she's sad about one of her limitations, I get mad at myself for not asking God for more, on her behalf. I think if she knew my prayers back then, she would tell me, "Mom! That's all you asked for? Why not ask for me not to limp when I walk, or for my right arm to work, or for my eyes to be able to converge their vision? or maybe you could have asked God to be sure that I can drive a car one day. Why didn't you just ask Him to heal me completely?" What would I say to that? "I'm sorry, Audriana. I didn't think to ask for that."<br /><br />And I guess that sounds petty when I say this on your blog, after you lost your little girl...Aviana was so hurt, so much worse than Audriana...and yet I'm not satisfied with my daughter's recovery? I've been told by a few people that I should "just" be thankful that she recovered all that she did - how dare I ask or want for more, right? But here's the thing: how can a parent not want 100% recovery for their child? How can a parent not want and yearn for the original child that they had, before the brain injury? Does wanting this make us ungrateful? I don't think so. <br /><br />Anyway.<br /><br />I love what you write. You explain things so very clearly. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the blog. I know they help and inspire many people, including me!Katrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04446770591516588794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-38913043151738864332014-06-19T07:47:21.861-07:002014-06-19T07:47:21.861-07:00I wish you knew how much your posts mean to me. I...I wish you knew how much your posts mean to me. I sit here and nod my head up & down in agreement, relating to what you say. Too many sentences to quote and say "me, too". I think you should consider being a life coach. I would so totally hire you. You have such a positive attitude. I mean genuinely positive. I crack jokes & such but really sometimes it's a protective mechanism to hide my depression & anxieties. I hope to work through my issues one of these days or who am I kidding years :-) Buddha is right though, I didn't die today so that means I have another day to keep on trucking. Like you said, Aviana accomplished her life's purpose. That is what I pray for me, that I accomplish my life's purpose. If I can do that then my life and all in it will have been worth it. <br /><br />That you for sharing the Kip Moore song. I had never heard it before which is such a shame. I wish it got airplay; many people could benefit from hearing it. <br /><br />Love ya'll! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-968022325149168758.post-32455144445002659852014-06-18T12:52:52.074-07:002014-06-18T12:52:52.074-07:00How beautiful. You sound like Beya and vice versa....How beautiful. You sound like Beya and vice versa. She will refuse the comparison, saying you have so much grace etc..... But I'm so fortunate to have two such amazing, peaceful, beautiful women in my life. I hate the word lucky so I say fortunate. <br /><br />I used to be shaking my fist, oh how I shook my fist. I even threw my Bible across the room, more than once, while sissy was sick and after she died. Can you get any more childish than that!?!? I don't think so. You are so articulate and write of your beliefs so beautifully. I'm so thankful for you in my life. I wish we hadn't have had to meet but we were not in control of the circumstances but I'm forever grateful to have met you and to be gifted by Aviana and your family. She is in our thoughts daily, forever. She taught us as have you. <br /><br />I love you. Did you get to write this poetic post on your brand new computer? How fun! Cameohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04815107970059019435noreply@blogger.com